The ins and outs of anal play
by Aislinn Wyatt
“The ass is the great common denominator when it comes to sexual pleasure: everybody has one.”
What sexy activity could be next in line for its public acceptance explosion?
I’d argue that it’s anal play, and this article is going to give all you budding ass connoisseurs a run down on how to safely enjoy all the pleasures that can come from it.
Let’s talk about who partakes in anal play. The first misconception that needs to be cleared up is that anal sex is only for gay men. While there certainly are gay men who do so, by no stretch of the imagination do all gay men engage in anal stimulation. Sexual orientation and gender don’t decide what sort of stimulation a person enjoys: men and women, both cis and transgendered, from everywhere along the Kinsey scale, can enjoy anal stimulation or not.
Hopefully this clears up the silly notion that it is somehow “gay” for a man to enjoy anal stimulation.
The ass is the great common denominator when it comes to sexual pleasure: everybody has one. Both male and female anuses are full of delightfully sensitive nerve endings (half of all of them in the entire pelvic region, to be precise) concentrated mainly around the opening and just inside the rectum. Male and female individuals have differences when it comes to ass-anatomy, however. Male individuals have a prostate gland, a wonderful little walnut-sized sensory gland which sits between the rectum and the urethra and below the bladder and can be accessed through the rectum, as well as massage to the perineum. Female-bodied individuals don’t have a prostate; the g-spot, however, can also be stimulated through the rectum.
Those aforementioned nerve endings found in the anus can be stimulated in many ways. A good way for someone to find out if anal stimulation is something they’ll enjoy is to start slowly, gently and externally, with a finger massaging the very opening of the anus, or maybe even oral anal stimulation (anilingus). If this sort of touch feels good, it can be an indicator that that person might also enjoy anal penetration. Many people enjoy the sensation of being “filled up” and as mentioned before, both the prostate and g-spot can be reached and played with (often to very enjoyable results) through anal penetration.
When it comes to putting things inside your butt, there are some important ground rules to remember. The opening of the anus has two rings of muscle surrounding it, the internal and external sphincters. You can control the opening and closing of the external one, but not the internal. The internal sphincter can be gently coaxed into allowing access, but this takes gentle, slow stimulation and a relaxed state of mind. So, anal penetration Rule #1: go slowly and relax. Rule #2 (which is just as important): always use lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating, and the wall tissue of the rectum is also much thinner and is susceptible to tearing. Lots and lots of good quality, latex-safe lubricant makes penetration a much smoother process. And remember, while anal penetration might feel slightly uncomfortable if you aren’t used to it, it should never hurt. Pain is your body’s way of letting you know to slow down, add more lube, and try again. Rule #3: the anus is a vacuum, which means you should never put anything inside your butt which doesn’t have a wide, flared base or is long enough to hold on to. Rule #4: the rectum contains bacteria which can cause nasty infections if in contact with other orifices, like the vagina. So always be sure to cover anything going inside with a condom, and if you are planning on switching between anal and oral or vaginal penetration, use a fresh condom or clean toy for each new activity.
Anal play is something that can be enjoyed alone or with a partner. There’s a world of sex toys available designed specifically for anal stimulation including buttplugs (which are generally inserted and kept in the anus while other activities are happening), anal beads (which can be inserted and removed at the moment of orgasm for increased pleasure) and some dildos (which are generally used for thrusting). Penile-anal sex is another option available to couples, and can be very intimate due to the amount of trust required in allowing someone to enter your anus. Strap-on dildos allow partners without penises to take on the role of penetrator, which can be an exciting reversal of traditional sexual encounter gender roles for some couples.
Some of people can be turned off by the idea of anal play because they think that the anus is an inherently dirty place, and are worried about the possibility of coming into contact with feces. What’s important to remember is that the rectum isn’t where feces are stored (that’s the bowel!), so as long as you’ve made sure “the train has left the station,” and you have bathed recently, you’ll be plenty clean. On the off chance there happens to be an unexpected incident, as long as all parties involved understand that it’s a risk you run with anal play, and not the end of the world, it shouldn’t be devastating.
Like everything to do with sex, anal play isn’t going to be for everyone.
But as long as you play safe, take it slowly and keep clean, there’s no harm in experimenting with something new. Who knows, you might just discover your new favourite pleasure!
P.S. Sexposure wants to hear from you! Send your sex questions to oneditor@uoguelph.ca and we’ll be sure to answer them in the next issue.