University students are getting married later than past generations but some embrace matrimony
by Genna Buck
You’ve probaby dreamed about the day: roses, wine, a romantic dinner, perhaps culminating in some skywriting or an elaborate scavenger hunt for a certain small, shiny object.
Whether you plan to get down on one knee, or plan to be a giggling bride-to-be, you have probably imagined how your face will look on the day you get engaged.
Picture that face now. What did it look like? Radiant? Happy? Hopefully, in love? Presumably, though, it was free of adolescent blemishes, but not yet wrinkled with age.
If anything can be concluded from bridal magazines and television shows such as “Say Yes to the Dress” and MTV’s “Sixteen and Pregnant” the “ideal” time for marriage is in one’s early twenties or even before.
Today, many at that age are full-time students, and they may very well plan to be for some time. Despite the emphasis on exciting (and expensive) wedding celebrations, when two university students announce their engagement, it is still often met with shock and sometimes disapproval.
“It’s something I would never do at this age,” said Kayla McDowell, a third year U of G student whose close friends, both undergraduates, recently got engaged.
“Now, I know that they didn’t just jump into it,” McDowell continued “They actually considered it fully and want to spend the rest of their lives together.”
According to the American Sociological Review, marriage is often viewed as an adult status that is incompatible with the role of student. Therefore, there seems to be a gulf between the glamorous images in popular culture of young people getting and the actual way people feel about their fellow students tying the knot in real life.
Many reasons could account for the discrepancy, including basic stereotyping.
“Students are a very diverse group of people,” said Kat Dearham and Lori Guest of the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity. “We don’t see how adult status is incompatible with student status. This is an ageist assumption.”
Still, there is a perception among the general public marrying at a young age is irresponsible and risky. Divorce, financial difficulties, unplanned pregnancies, and other problems are seen as the likely result of a young marriage.
“Our society values money,” said Jen Palissero, who currently works as a co-coordinator for Guelph Campus for Christ and married in 2008. “For parents and friends of students who choose to get married, there can be worries about the couple’s financial well-being.”
According to Palissero, balancing married life and school commitments can be a challenge.
“I was married for a year and a half while my husband was a student,” said Palissero. “You do have some limitations when you’re married…now, I put my spouse first, to an extent, but we both have our own lives.”
No matter how old a person is, most find they have a similar vision for their married life.
“Marriage is about partnership and making a commitment to go the same direction and support each other,” said Palissero. “I love marriage. I don’t think it’s incompatible with the student lifestyle.”