Response and apology to Damon Bruce for infecting the world of sports
It’s 2013 and the position of women in sports is one that is still debated. However, in the eyes of Damon Bruce, a sports radio host based out of San Francisco, there is no debate to be had. The world of sports has a setting, and “it’s set to men,” is apparently fact.
Bruce enlightened his audience with an almost ten minute rant explaining just how women are ruining sports. The rant stemmed from the discussion of Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito, who has been accused of harassing ex-teammate, Jonathan Martin – an incident, according to Bruce, that can only be blamed on females infecting sports and male athletes with our sensitivity and our constant need to change a setting (evidently) custom-made for men.
First, as a female sports enthusiast and aspiring journalist, I believe I owe Damon Bruce – and anyone else who feels this way – an apology. Whether I’m apologizing for being so naïve as to think these ideas were no longer apart of this modern day-and-age, or apologizing for ruining the man’s world of sports, I’m not quite sure.
Secondly, I want to thank Damon Bruce for so graciously explaining the boundaries females are required to abide by: “I’m willing to share my sandbox, as long as you remember you’re in my box.” If there’s one thing I can appreciate, it’s sharing, so thank you for that.
More importantly, though, I want to thank women like Sarah Spain, a SportsCenter Anchor and reporter based out of Chicago, who represents exactly why a female presence is not only a bonus in sports, but almost necessary. Spain wrote an incredibly satirical article in response to Bruce’s remarks, an article that evoked an immense amount of support and positive feedback, as well as those few who belong on Bruce’s bandwagon. Spain’s That’s What She Said: ‘Sandbox Edition’ proved that women are not the sensitive ones. Sure, we probably watch romantic comedies too much, and maybe shed too many tears in the process, but when it comes to sports, sensitive isn’t the right word. Spain illustrated just how easily women in sports can laugh – not only at ourselves, but also at everyone else who takes it upon themselves to decide where we don’t belong. Spain didn’t fight for territory, she just proved that she deserved it – something that women in sports so often do. We win your fantasy football leagues, trump you in that heated hockey debate, and heck, we even ruin that caveman mentality Bruce demands back. Of course we don’t belong, but we yammer on about sports anyway – always careful not to mess up Bruce’s sandbox.
There are just a couple of things wrong with this. The only people who are sensitive in sports are the men getting their boxers in a knot because they just lost their fantasy league to a girl, and how these same men don’t realize how awesome it is to be able to have an intellectual conversation about sports with said girl. Of course, according to Bruce, “The amount of women talking in sports to the amount of women who have something to say is one of the most disproportionate ratios I’ve ever seen in my freakin’ life.”
So I guess that leaves only one of two solutions: women stop talking, or men like Bruce actually start giving credit where credit is due. When a woman like Sarah Spain can lay a knockout punch in anything sports related, and accomplish it with such ease, remember to extend your hand for the handshake after the match, a gesture coined by men back when sports were played in caves, and uniforms were made from the most recent hunting trip. If it’s a man’s world, women can only follow by your example, so be sure to set the right one.
I guess I should say that I truly am sorry we beat you in fantasy leagues; I’m sorry we don’t know when to stop talking in that heated sports related debate; I’m sorry we’re always stepping all over your sandbox in our knee high boots and stilettos (because every female goes stomping through a sandbox in stilettos), and for ignoring the piss stain clearly marking men’s territory in the world of sports and changing the setting anyway.
But I can tell you one thing: I will never be sorry that you lost to a girl.