Valentine’s Day brings the usual tidal waves of negativity
Hold fast, everyone. February 14, the worst of all the ‘hallmark holidays,’ is fast approaching, and the closer this most controversial day comes, the more you’ll have to hear the myriad of reasons people have for despising it.
In the days of Chaucer and the Knights of the Round Table, Valentine’s Day was closely associated with the notions of chivalry that were so popular at the time. The lengths to which one would go for love are central to many of the Arthurian legends, and the relationship of Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere is one of the most famous trysts of all time. However, in modern times, public sentiment has shifted away from Valentine’s Day, and a number of excuses are used to explain why some don’t buy into it.
Whether you discuss Valentine’s Day with a single friend or one in a serious relationship, the consensus seems to be that the day itself is nothing more than a marketing ploy, used to ensure that partners have heightened expectations of one another come the 14th. With the desire to meet these expectations comes boosted sales and increased revenues for card and chocolate companies, followed by the disdain of the public.
This has never made much sense to me, despite the cost of living at school. Tuition fees, rent, and groceries – these do put a strain on the bank account, and many of us have OSAP, bank loans, and part-time jobs in order to stay afloat during the school year. However, it is as simple as deciding to take your better half out on Valentine’s Day (and let’s face it, there really is rarely much of a choice) instead of going out downtown that week. In essence, they cost the same.
In recent years, embittered singles have created their own holiday, Singles Awareness Day (SAD). SAD is just a means to celebrate single status by indulging in favourite activities and spending time with family and friends.
While I see no problem with the celebration of being unattached and enjoying it, I also hold that if the celebration of being single is only undertaken to spite those celebrating being in a relationship, then that is a fairly good indicator that the single person in question might harbour hard feelings towards their attached friends. Perhaps figuring out where this hostility originates might be a better use of time.
Another popular argument is that it degrades the value of one’s partner to suggest that they should be treated specially on only one day of the year. Many argue back that if you feel so strongly about your partner, you would be compelled to treat them the same way every day of the year.
While I do somewhat agree with this response, I cannot use it to nullify the positive aspects of a day meant to celebrate the love that two people share. Valentine’s Day usually consists of flowers, some chocolate, a nice dinner, all followed by a romantic, personal evening together. Sounds nice, right? Why don’t we do that every single day? Well that would get pretty damn expensive, would it not?
There are many ways to be romantic without spending a week’s pay. As I get older, and continue hear people complain about this problem, I’ve come to realize that the people who care more about money than the person they’re spending it on are the same ones who argue that reserving one day for love is demeaning. If that’s the case, there are plenty of free things to use to show you care the other 364 days of the year. If your partner usually cooks meals, take the reins every now and then. You might burn everything, but at least you tried. If you have the courage to do it, write a damn love poem. Nobody expects you to be Robert Frost, but putting in the effort should be enough for someone who really cares about you.
In the end, while we have come up with many ways to argue that Valentine’s Day is hokey or backwards or corrupted by marketing and commercialization, it will be a sad day when we become so desensitized to love that we no longer feel the need to celebrate it. If you can’t tone down the cynicism and spend a little time and money for one day, maybe you’d be better off celebrating Singles Awareness Day.