Brother, can you spare a yank?
Every year at the University of Guelph, we replay the same old melodrama. The university administration votes to increase tuition fees. The CSA squawks like a disheveled parrot. The students shrug and hunch over another bowl of discount Ramen. Bemoaning another round of tuition hikes is a Guelph ritual, like painting the Cannon or puking on Macdonell Street.
The CSA’s current slogan is “Pay More, Get Less.” But here at the Yank Think Tank (#YankTank), we don’t let the hikes get us down. There’s no reason we can’t “Pay More, Get More.” All it takes is a little creativity and a lot of spare time.
Phone up the administration “just to chat.” There’s no better way to work out your personal demons.
Collect business cards and trade them with your friends. I summon Dr. David Brewster!
Paper mache leftover copies of the Ontarion into a set of stylish patio furniture. Hell, make two!
In the winter months, insulate your clothing with toilet paper from the UC bathroom. Cozy!
Don’t forget all that free plastic cutlery outside the cafeteria. Fashion yourself a Gryphon headdress out of plastic spoons and be the envy of all your friends.
There are any number of ways to get your money’s worth at the U of G. Just remember: “Don’t Get Less–Get Weird!”