Mental health issues do not discriminate
The recent passing of comedian and actor Robin Williams brought a shocked and saddened world together. Reactions ranged from surprise (at his continued struggle with depression) to despair (at the thought of such a bright light in the world brought dim). As just one of his innumerable fans, I am, of course, personally troubled by his passing. However, his apparent suicide is an unfortunate event that brings into the spotlight the hidden dangers of depression (and mental health in general) – a topic that is generally avoided in everyday conversation.
There is nothing we can do to bring Williams back. But there is so much we can do to help those who are similarly struggling with the decision to end their life. What Williams’ death proves is that mental health issues do not discriminate. Your wealth, fame, race, gender, or public image has no bearing on the demon that is mental illness. People you pass every day on the street could be waging an internal battle with themselves in their every waking moment. The reality is that the stigma still very much exists, despite our increasing awareness of such issues.
As a world in mourning, it is relieving to see that people are discussing the pain Williams held in so well. But it is important to remember that not just high profile celebrities struggle with these types of mental health issues. Robin Williams’ death is tragic, but no more so than the countless lives that are taken every day by the very people to which they belong. We should only hope that such a painful loss will continue to remind us of our vulnerabilities, and those of our loved ones.
It should be made clear that someone choosing to end their own life is not a cry for attention, nor irrational. The desperation of such an act speaks as proof to the relentless pain one with depression is experiencing. What eventually happens in such a terrible situation is an individual making the decision that the pain they feel is no longer bearable and will never go away. It is a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness.
The well meaning but unhelpful phrase “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” unintentionally places blame on the sufferer. A person who is electing to end their life does not feel that their pain is temporary. A total loss of hope can be consuming, and it becomes impossible to see the much brighter possibilities of the future.
It is not the fault of those who have never had depression for being unable to understand it. It is, however, their fault for pretending that they could. What we need to do in the wake of Williams’ death is have real conversations regarding the steps society can take to prevent similar occurrences. The last thing those with depression need to hear is, “Don’t you see how good you have it?” “Lighten up!” or, “Don’t worry, it’ll all get better.”
Sometimes the best option is to completely lend yourself as a support asset, being there for someone regardless of whatever they may be feeling. It may be difficult for somebody to turn for help and even harder to accept, but support will not go unnoticed. Depression is a source and symptom of loneliness and despair, and is different for everybody. The common denominator, though, is the unbearable pain.
The ball of conversation on mental health issues is finally rolling, and we cannot let it just hit the net and stop. There is no one to blame in the existence of depression, unless you approach it with an attitude of what is “supposed” to happen to “fix” it.
Robin Williams, sadly, was not able to ask, or perhaps find, the help he needed to fight against the pain of depression. As a society, it is our duty not to let similar struggles end in such a tragic way. More than anything, that begins with conversation. How we react could be the difference between a life ended and a life saved.
Let us start now.
To all those who suffer, we are here. We are listening, and we care.