Dear Brad,
I am writing in response to your latest “Logopalooza” article in the esteemed Western Gazette. I must say I’m so happy to finally be responding to a paper where editors can use “s**t.” I also enjoy the irony of naming your section after a once-great festival now done significantly better somewhere south of the border – much like your brand of shock “humour” journalism better done at FoxNews. Though, at least they censor “s**t.” I must say, I empathize with your plight. I understand the bitter taste left in your mouth after the Gryphons made your Mustangs into geldings. And what better appointee to discuss sports than a former Arts & Lifestyle Editor! Much like your football strategy when playing Guelph appears to be currently run by a former pro golfer – desperately trying to achieve the lowest points possible compared to your opposition. You Westerners are so versatile; though it seems odd to spit such vitriol – sorry, “humour” – towards an “irrelevant” school. Losing to “literally one of the worst universities” must really sting. Especially when that school is based in a city less than a third of the size of London but consistently ranked only a few spots below Western, or sorry, the “University of Western Ontario,” or is it “Western University” now? I can never keep track. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll figure out that identity crisis the same way most of your students do: branding yourself with someone else’s work. As to your critique of logo design, if there’s one man who knows clean lines, it’s the guy who compared Queen’s “Q” logo to the recent Jian Ghomeshi sexual assault scandal. If you weren’t too busy analyzing fonts in your spare time, you might have noticed that’s a bit off-colour. Guelph’s Gryphon may not be “simple enough that an average person could draw it” – certainly not as simple as a running horse with trailing mane and tail–but fortunately for Guelph, we don’t admit average people. Also, I think you’re a bit confused, since you called our logo “simplistic,” but apparently not simple. And “clunky?” Not “sleek” enough? Real mascots have curves. Doesn’t stop our Gryphon from running all over your little foal. Given that your article is chock full of contradictions and pointless references (plus the online title spells “Gryphons” wrong), it’s fitting that Western’s motto is “Truth and Usefulness.” Irony is priceless. But for everything else, there’s (daddy’s) MasterCard. Oh, and if you’re ever looking for tips on how to include actual humour in your work, try checking us out at Overheard at Guelph. Your Western group has been stealing our jokes for years. PS: Sorry, almost forgot the cowpies. Well, you know what they say: I’d rather step in it at Guelph…
Terrible at drawing,
Cory Indiana Justice Houghton
Gryphon Alumni, Overheard At Guelph
YEA!!!