Relationships change, and it’s okay
There comes a time in everyone’s life when we have to accept that our old friends – and ourselves are evolving – and things won’t always be the same. Years have passed since high school and, surprisingly, since university as well. People move, meet new people, have different experiences, and, all of a sudden, you find yourself feeling disillusioned and stunned as to where your connection went.
The connection is sometimes still there, but it’s different and not always the easiest pill to swallow. So, how do you keep a connection close? Is it possible? Is it worth it? This all depends on what this relationship means to you now – not what it meant to you in the past. Accepting that these two things are different is the first step.
Sure, you may have had such a close relationship from the time you were 15, but that was a long time ago – you both moved away, and have been located across the country from one another for the past partial decade. You may very well still have things in common – and even still love each other – but do you actually put in the effort to making the friendship work? Ask yourself if you both do, if it is one-sided, or if you could both use some practice. Then, ask yourself if it is satisfying or frustrating.
Once this is determined, it is time to decide whether the relationship is adding anything of value to your life. If it isn’t, it may be time to move on. I know, it’s rough to hear. But, putting out the effort and getting nothing in return can be a really negative force to have to deal with in your 20s, which, as a 20-something-year-old, I can say that this decade is one of the most fantastic – yet devastating – decades of your lifetime.
The thing about being in your 20s is that there are what seem to be endless obstacles to climb and endless questions to ask yourself about who you really are and what you want out of your life. There are social pressures surrounding us everywhere, as well as pressures we have decided to put on ourselves. That is why I am starting this column. I want to discuss the issues I have encountered – or know someone who has encountered – to enable people in their 20s (and hopefully others, too) to make small improvements to better their lives.
In upcoming weeks, I am going to discuss a range of topics that are all centered in self-improvement and development. I hope that these brief articles will allow people to feel connected and not alone in their struggles to figure out what exactly it is they are doing in their lives, and how they want to live. In the next article, I will speak about how improving relationships you want to keep starts with improving yourself.