The stigma behind a single status
It’s a question most of us have heard at least once before – maybe even twice, or a dozen times – who’s really counting anyway? As I entered my 20s, it seemed like a favourite question for others to ask me. Parents, family friends, and even close friends who seemed curious about this strange predicament of mine would ask: still single, in her 20s – but why? At this age, it seems that when others ask us why we’re single, it’s almost assumed that there’s something wrong with us – like we haven’t accomplished something we were supposed to do.
People have different reactions when you tell them you’re still single…
Before coming to university, I was never concerned about whether or not I had a boyfriend. I was shy, awkward, and couldn’t imagine having to date someone when I could barely take care of myself. I was still trying to grasp the concept of doing my own laundry, let alone thinking about getting into a relationship with someone. Surprisingly enough, I still find myself feeling that way today. When you reluctantly do finally answer this question, you might still never find an answer that’s good enough for people who look at you differently for your single status.
There’s this myth that if you’re single, you’re miserable and lonely and your life is tragic. You come home to your Ben & Jerry’s and a bottle of wine, and watch P.S. I love you, sobbing and wishing your love life could be as romantic. The truth is, I have only done this a few times and it really isn’t that bad. I’m kidding (sort of). Being single is not some tragic curse bestowed upon us, like it’s sometimes made out to be.
People have different reactions when you tell them you’re still single and over the age of 20. Those who don’t ask – people I am eternally grateful for – are often good at telling you they aren’t in the least bit surprised, and offer a story about someone they know who is even older and still single. It’s a way to let you know that no, you’re not alone, because there are people out there who are single and older than you are, so don’t sweat it! This usually makes me wonder, is there a specific age I can calmly wait to reach until I break out into a full-blown panic, realizing that I have become the friend who is now both the oldest and single?
That seems like a lot of unnecessary stress and panic, and it is. The last thing I want to do is go on about how much better being single is than being in a relationship, because, ultimately, different things make different people happy. Some people enjoy being single and independent, while others are perfectly happy with being in a relationship. There will always be those few people who will look down on your single status, but perhaps they simply can’t imagine that a person can be happy and single at the same time. Whatever your relationship status is, remember that this is your life and that it’s impossible to please everyone around you. Be kind and stay happy, and the rest will come on its own.