Eight reasons why I don’t drink alcohol
“Wait…never? Like, not even once? Why not?”
That’s most common reaction received when I tell people that not once in my 23 years have I had a sip of alcohol, (especially considering that on the dance floor, which I love, my moves definitely emit that ‘drunk-as-could-be’ vibe). People generally tend to either not believe me, or look at me strangely wondering curiously about why I have devoted myself to an alcohol-free lifestyle. Though in all honesty, I have certainly been tempted – I am a university student, after all.
However, for the foreseeable future, I think my liver will just have to occupy itself otherwise. And while I bestow no judgment upon the majority of my peers who do choose to indulge, I would like to share the main benefits of going alcohol free. Feel free to enjoy this list over a virgin (or otherwise) cocktail.
Money, money, money
If bar tabs were loans, most of my friends would owe The Palace more money than they do OSAP. It’s nice to know that I can go downtown, dance the night away, and leave only $5 or $10 poorer from cover and coatcheck.
No hangovers
This one is kind of fun, because my friends hate me for it. I can go out for a wild night and wake up the next morning a little tired but, otherwise ready to go. I can even get plenty of homework done on Sundays – that is, unless a groggy-eyed friend asks me not to type so loud – at 2 p.m.
I can drive
My apologies to cab companies, for without my own vehicle, they probably would have a huge profit from my copious visits to The Ranch. Not being at the mercy of the drunk bus and avoiding standing in the cold hailing a cab while pondering the recovery time for frostbite amputation surgery is a joyous thing.
I can whip out my “mom factor”
When you’re the only one not inebriated, your known sense of judgment automatically makes you the boss. It’s comforting to know that, even though they are adults, I am fully ready to help my friends if they need it. Not everyone wants to babysit when they’re out for a night of fun, but knowing everyone gets home safe is a comfort I enjoy.
No beer breath
Pretty self-explanatory, but it makes a difference. I cannot, however, speak for the post-bar snack breath I may acquire.
My liver will thank me
It always amazes me how alcohol can affect people’s health, and not just around the days they have been drinking. Everyone knows that a little bit certainly doesn’t hurt, but the long-term benefits of alcohol-abstinence are no big secret either. I also find many friends get bad head and stomachaches from drinking, so at the very least, stay hydrated.
Skyrocketing Stamina
Last call, music’s great, and everyone’s starting to nod off a little bit, favouring their warm bed over another shot. If you glance at the dance floor, there will be one girl still doing the sprinkler at full speed – that would be me. Like a sugar high, alcohol tends to have a lag time, and it normally kicks in midway through the night, even when having a good time. When sober, there is no crash, allowing for a maximum enjoyment of the night’s festivities.
I don’t need it
Not needing alcohol to have a good time is the number one reason I don’t drink. To me, it is pretty simple. Why would I spend money on something I don’t like to have fun when I am perfectly able to do so whilst sober? While I understand that alcohol loosens people up and makes many feel more comfortable, I enjoy myself just fine in a “dry” state. I love a game of pong as much as the next guy, and if I pass up a good night out with the girls, call the doctor.
In the meantime, I’ll have a Diet Coke, please. Yes, just the Coke.