Maybe you’ve noticed the people of Guelph have been smiling a little bit more. That’s the Franco effect. If you’ve wondered why, according to the Guelph Harvest Index (GHI), yields have gone up by 20 per cent. That’s the Franco effect. If you read about the city council’s unanimous vote to lobby the federal government to legalize the sale of marijuana. That too, was the Franco effect.
In a move of pure selflessness, a selection committee co-chaired by University of Guelph President Franco Vaccarino and Guelph Mayor Cam Guthrie has selected James Franco to receive the prestigious Guelph Man of the Year Award.
“What he has done for this town is beyond words,” said U Of G President Franco Vaccarino. “From one Franco to another, I am happy that we as committee have chosen James. He is a beacon in the dark, an example to people young and old, and an absolute stud muffin.”
In addition to being awarded the Guelph Man of the Year Award, James Franco has been selected for honorary Gryphon status.
“I was only in Guelph for three days, but the people there, they changed me, and I changed them, and we changed together,” said James Franco. “I’m ecstatic to hear that I will get to fly high like a Gryphon. Total euphoria—thank you, Guelph. Smiles for everyone!”
Acclaimed Canadian playwright and University of Guelph Professor Judith Thompson responded to The Ontarion for comment about James Franco winning the Guelph Man of the Year Award.
“He’s so raw, it just makes sense,” said Thompson. “Hopefully in the future we can have a strong female lead win the Guelph Woman of the Year Award. This nomenclature is getting dated and is far from politically correct, in that it is non-inclusive, but at least we have James Franco.”
Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Jay Baruchel and Paul Rudd have all RSVP’d to the award ceremony, which will be happening January 11, 2016 at 1 p.m. at the University of Guelph in the UC courtyard.
James Franco and company will be available for a meet-and-greet at The Ontarion office before the ceremony. James Franco has asked that instead of paying for an autograph, that you please donate to the Emergency Fund for the stranded Penguins of Chili, and consider offering his “less talented brother” Davey Franco a spot in this year’s University of Guelph mainstage production.