Living with others can get complicated
One of the most difficult challenges of living away from home involves learning how to coexist with others. After living with family members for so long, it is easy to get accustomed to a specific lifestyle. Whether you are deciding to do your laundry at 7 a.m., or frantically studying for finals at 3 a.m., it is inevitable that your habits will clash with those of your roommates. However, there are ways to resolve these differences and conflicts without losing any semblance of a relationship with your roomies.
Communicating with your roommates in a clear and respectful manner can make an enormous impact. Being upfront with your roommates about what your habits, expectations, and routines are can help set boundaries and reduce conflicts. For example, if you make it explicitly clear to your roommates that you are a vegetarian, chances are they will be more careful about where they place raw meat in the fridge. If you are really picky about seeing meat and you haven’t communicated it to your roommates, they will most likely continue with their usual routine and stuff the fridge with meat. While this is an oddly specific example of potential roommate issues, communicating your concerns early on can help deter these kinds of avoidable conflicts.
Talking it out can also be used to resolve issues that are immediately present and situational. To clarify, communicating with your roommates does not involve passive aggressively leaving notes around the house, or storming into your room and blasting loud music when something doesn’t go your way. Sure, your roommates will know something is wrong, but it will also create animosity, resentment, and a non-confrontational environment. Instead, when hoping to speak to your roommate about a potential issue, be sure to do it in a respectful and mindful tone. If they are in the middle of studying for an exam, it may not be the best time to adamantly bring up that one of your Granny Smith apples went missing three weeks ago.
Another helpful piece of advice to help deal with roommates is to set clear and mutual boundaries. Labelling your food, having designated counter space, or assigning specific shelves in the fridge can help ensure that nothing gets misplaced or accidentally eaten. Keep in mind, however, that not all houses need to establish these kinds of rules. For some roommates, attempting to set guidelines and rules can be even more stressful and upsetting—that is why it’s important to read the room, and to not be afraid to talk it out with the people with whom you’ll be spending the year.
The truth is, every living situation you find yourself in will be different and will present unique challenges. Throughout all of the stress and chaos that a semester can bring, it is important to remember that making an effort to talk about disputes and being mindful can help making your living situation a lot more enjoyable.