How to process your own feelings of loss and to help friends deal with theirs
Losing a loved one is something that everyone will experience at some point in their life. Whether the death is sudden or expected, it can leave one feeling an array of intense emotions. Despite knowing that this is a universal emotion, grief can leave survivors feeling isolated.
While grief is typically associated with the immediate aftermath of a loss, certain times of year can often stir up these emotions. Holidays, birthdays and other milestones that are linked to the lost loved one can spur feelings of bereavement all over again.
It can be difficult to identify the best way to handle grief when you are experiencing it, as everyone experiences grief differently. In an article for the Mayo Clinic, Dr. Edward T. Creegan suggests that one method of dealing with loss is to allow yourself to process your feelings and “actively grieve.” This can involve seeking comfort in friends and family, taking part in rituals such as funeral planning, and allowing yourself to express your sadness.
It is also important to not lose yourself in your grief and to remember to practice self-care during this time period. Something as simple as ensuring that you eat a good meal every day will be helpful to the recovery of your mental health as you process your loss.
As a friend, it can be difficult to know what to do to assist someone who is dealing with a loss. Often, statements meant to comfort can be of little use to them at this time. Sayings such as, “It was their time to go,” or, “They’re in a better place,” might not be helpful even if the intention behind them is good. Instead, try to be there to listen to your friend and validate their feelings as acceptable. Offer to take on tasks for them that you know they will be unable to do, such as taking pets for a walk or returning books to the library.
There are several community services available to those who are dealing with grief. On campus, Counselling Services offers both appointments and walk in consultations with counsellors who can help you handle your grief. Good2Talk, which is a 24-hour hotline for postsecondary students to speak about mental health, also functions as a great service.
Losing a loved one is a universal experience, but how each person processes that loss is an individual and often isolating experience. Be sure to reach out to others who can support you on your journey, and be patient with friends who are coping with their own grief.
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