Major key alert!
In a press conference on Dec. 5, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne announced that American DJ and famed gardener DJ Khaled will be named Minister of Composition beginning in January 2017. While Wynne stated during the press conference that the official reasons for the appointment were Khaled’s unmistakable scent of Dove Soap and modest lifestyle choices, many news sources are speculating the partnership could lead to something larger.
A source close to Wynne told The Contrarion that the premier is gearing up for the 2018 election and is seeking rights to one of Khaled’s hit tunes. According to the source, Wynne plans to hit the campaign trail late next year with a new goal and new campaign slogan; “All I do is Wynne.”
According to a statement released by Premier Wynne after the press conference, the current Liberal government is worried that it is not resonating with the future generation of voters. In order to attract the attention of Ontario’s youth, they will be testing out a new image; the first step being the newly founded partnership with human meme DJ Khaled.
In addition to the rebrand, Wynne has frequently been seen around Queen’s Park stopping to speak to the flowers. In an interview with Victory.com, Polly Tiks, Wynne’s director of success, explained that the premier has been inspired by DJ Khaled’s philosophy and is planning to bring more of his spark to the upcoming campaign. In that vein, the Liberal party of Ontario recently held its annual general meeting, where Premier Wynne gave her keynote speech, detailing her new platform entitled “Major Keys for the Next Generation.”
When questioned about the new policy, Wynne simply said, “We are going to win more. We are going to
live more. We are the best.”
Photo Courtesy of Katarighe via CC BY-SA 3.0/Modified