Beauty doesn’t have to be painful
I sport the same pair of blue straight-legged jeans, my dad’s belt, a grey hoodie, and a black graphic t-shirt every day. My opinions on fashion don’t carry a lot of weight; however, as I ventured through the mall the other day, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of cheap crap marked as “winter fashion” sold on the racks of every major clothing store. After my brief time at the mall, I feel like I’ve become an aficionado on this winter season’s trends. Here are the top five worst winter fashion trends of 2017.
1. COLD SHOULDER SWEATERS
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The people who invented this obviously got the inspiration during a fight, because of how illogical and spiteful toward the customer they are. The cut-outs defeat the purpose of a sweater. These absurdist garments don’t belong in any season. These peekaboos are too cold for our harsh Canadian winters, but too warm for summertime leisure. If you have furry shoulders like me, this might be a good option, but I’ll be turning a cold shoulder on this item for the winter.
2. RIPPED CLOTHES
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Canadian winters are freezing. Why would anyone want ventilation for their pants in minus 40 degree weather? I can’t imagine paying money for a damaged product. If I ripped a pair of pants through wear and tear, I would donate it to Goodwill. Not sell it to someone for $30 like so many shops are trying to do now.
3. PAINT SPLATTER PANTS
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My stomach retched when I first saw these pants at Forever 21. I thought someone had vomited on them and put them back in the pile, unbeknownst to store employees. But nope! Some designer at head office thought this was a grand idea and shipped it out in bulk to fast fashion retailers.
My boyfriend is a carpenter and I have to argue with him to not wear his paint-covered clothes when we go out. This trend only gives him fuel to look even more like a vagrant. These garments look like trash and I don’t want to pay money to have my wardrobe reflect how I feel inside.
4. FAUX VELVET
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Velvet feels like the other side of a velcro pad and washes just as well as one. I cringe at the idea of touching it. By investing in a faux velvet outfit, you’re wasting money on a product that feels uncomfortable and is useless if you get water on it. The ’90s pioneered many exciting fashion ideas, velvet isn’t one of them and shouldn’t be revived.
5. CORSET STRAPS
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I understand the concept behind corset straps. They can be cool on shirts or actual corsets. But why the hell are they on leggings? Leggings are the tightest thing you can possibly buy in clothing stores. Corset straps are meant to pull clothes in and make them tighter, so the idea of them on spandex makes zero sense. And don’t even get me started on wearing mini corsets around t-shirts. It’s the mullet of outfits. Classy in the middle, trashy everywhere else. Modern day corset designs capture the look of a confused, time-traveling 1800s courtesan, and that’s not a look I’m going for.
Graphic by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion