How to interact with others without putting them down
Being single over the holidays is difficult enough. It can be lonely when most people you know have a significant other and are busy doing things couples do at this time of year. Single people can do without questions about their singleness or “sympathetic” comments that make the holiday season altogether less than merry.
Here are some things you can do to not be the worst over the holidays.
When you see someone at a social gathering:
Do NOT ask them if they’re seeing someone. That’s a piece of information that someone can offer themselves, if they’re willing to share.
If you forget, and accidentally ask them about their relationship status, then do NOT look at them as if you feel sorry for them when they respond.
Refrain from saying things like this when you find out someone is single:
- “Aw.”
- “It’s hard out there.”
- “That’s so weird because there are so many dating apps, have you tried Tinder? You should try Tinder. I know a girl who met her husband on Tinder.”
- “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”
- “It’ll happen when you stop looking.”
- “You have to put yourself out there.”
- “Good for you, you don’t need a man (or woman).”
- “Oh, are you single by choice?”
- “You kids are all so independent these days. Career, career, career.”
- “Maybe your expectations are too high.”
- “At a certain point, you really just have to settle.”
- “Do you not want to have kids someday? You must not want to have kids.”
- “Plenty of fish in the sea.”
- “Aww, I never got to try online dating, it seems so exciting! I met my husband when I was 17 — boring!”
- “That’s so surprising. You’re attractive and accomplished. I just know you’ll meet someone great.”
Do not offer to set them up with someone who they have nothing in common with beyond the fact that they are both single.
If you do know someone you can set them up with, make sure both people are actually open to being set up on a date.
If you’re thinking, well that’s a lot of stuff I can’t say, what can I say then?
Well, I’m glad you asked! It’s actually pretty easy. You can simply say:
- “Do you want some [fill in the name of a beverage — for example, eggnog]?”
- “How’re things? (Listen.) That’s great.”
- “Want to play [insert the name of a game — for example, Cranium]?”
Now, you too, can not be the worst person single people have to deal with this December.
Happy holidays!
Photo courtesy of Shutterstock via CC0