Talk Nerdy to Me: Sexual differences in orgasms

When the feelings of orgasm are often similar for both cisgender men and women, there are some differences between them when it comes to orgasms.

Orgasm is more difficult for cis women to experience because of their physiology, which means many cis women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone. Stimulation of the clitoris is important for many cis women to experience an orgasm and penile-vaginal intercourse alone often does not stimulate the clitoris. So ladies, if you aren’t orgasming solely through penile-vaginal intercourse, it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.That being said, everyone experiences orgasm differently (there are even differences that exist from one experience to the next), so it can be useful to do some experimentation to see what works best for you.

While cis women may orgasm less than cis men, this difference may be lessened when in a relationship. Elizabeth Armstrong and colleagues found that 11 per cent of cis women orgasm during the first time they hook up with someone, whereas 67 per cent of cis women orgasm during sexual activity with a significant other that they have been with for six or more months.

This doesn’t mean that cis women are unhappy with their orgasms. The study showed that 62 per cent of cis women who are in a relationship are very satisfied with the amount of orgasms they have.

It was noted that the more frequent occurrence of orgasms in committed relationships may be because there tends to be more foreplay. This falls in line with a U.S. national survey that found that cis men orgasm more through direct intercourse, whereas cis women orgasm more through various other sexual acts, such as oral sex.Another main difference between these sexes is the ability for cis women to have multiple orgasms. William Masters and Virginia Johnson found that cis men need to recharge (called a refractory period) after having an orgasm, but cis women do not, allowing them to have multiple orgasms. The time it takes for cis man to recharge depends on a variety of factors, but is often impacted by age, with older cis men needing more time in between than younger cis men.

The last major difference between cis men and women that has been found is the average time it takes to reach orgasm. Masters and Johnson found that cis men orgasm much quicker, averaging around four minutes, whereas cis women take about 10-20 minutes on average.

Image by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion