Recognizing when your relationship becomes toxic
Sometimes relationships become toxic or abusive and this can impact your mental and physical health. Most relationships often do not start out as toxic, but become toxic as time goes on. This can impact your ability to recognize when a relationship is becoming toxic, which is why those who are closest to you, such as your friends and family, can be good judges because they are able to see things more clearly.
One of the best ways to recognize a toxic relationship is to know what one looks like. Having some conflict in your relationship is not toxic; in fact, it’s necessary. But fights should not be happening all the time. Any type of relationship can be toxic — not just romantic relationships. And relationships don’t need to be abusive in order to be considered toxic.
Toxic relationships often come out of an imbalance in power. Manipulation and control can play a large role and are major red flags that signify an unhealthy relationship. You should not question or change who you are for a relationship.While everyone may get jealous at times, major jealousy in a relationship can indicate a lack of trust. There are also certain stressors associated with having to tiptoe around a significant other or close friend.
Relationships should not be all-encompassing; both people should have their own lives outside of the relationship. If all your time is spent focusing on the other person, you may become isolated. Isolation poses a major risk to your mental health and can be dangerous in any relationship.
If the relationship is one-sided, meaning that you’re giving much more than you’re getting, it may be time to reevaluate. Additionally, it is a problem if you can’t count on the other person to be there when you need them.
How you feel also plays a role here too. If spending time with the person often makes you feel emotionally drained, it’s probably not a healthy relationship.If you’re no longer happy, or are staying in a relationship out of obligation, it might be time to leave.
There are numerous reasons why people stay in toxic relationships. Leaving a relationship and being alone can be a very difficult thing to face. Reaching out for help from those who are close to you or from professionals is an important step towards caring for yourself and keeping yourself safe.
If you recognize or notice any red flags in your relationship, or are unsure about something that you’ve experienced, it can be great to talk to someone about it. There are lots of resources available online.
Tasha Falconer is completing her M.Sc. in Health Psychology studying sexting and holds an Honours Bachelor of Arts in psychology from the University of Guelph. She has co-facilitated the sexual education program, BabySmarts, run by Beginnings Family Services in Guelph.
Photo by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion