Nathan Skoufis is now the mayor of Guelph after easy victory
This past weekend, Guelph’s very own martial arts celebrity, Nathan Skoufis, has once again done the impossible — he challenged the current mayor of Guelph, Cam Guthrie, for his title of mayor, and won. The victor, of course, was set to obtain the title and the right to call themselves mayor of Guelph. On the flip side, the competitor who was defeated was set to be exiled for life and will never be allowed to return to Guelph again, unless granted special permission. This war of succession took place right in front of Guelph’s City Hall, with the battle beginning at high noon. Skoufis, a world class athlete, has claimed countless world titles and championships on top of holding a fifth degree black belt in karate. His opponent, Cam Guthrie, was the mayor of Guelph and drummer for a local synth-pop band, Fitness Club Fiasco.
He also likes baseball and pastries. This seemed like quite a daunting challenge for Skoufis, something that appeared nearly impossible — even for him. But Skoufis is used to defying the impossible.
The time leading up to the match was tense, both sides eyed each other, and tried to find a weakness in their opponent. As the clock struck 12 p.m., the match began. Guthrie first tested the waters with some left flicker jabs, then rushed in, trying to get an early mount on Skoufis. Skoufis, however, managed to evade the rush and connected with his signature right roundhouse. Whack. With Guthrie dazed, Skoufis followed up with a flurry of right kicks as if we was all up in an anime, not letting up on the offensive, while Guthrie forced on the defensive. In a last-ditch effort, Guthrie used his ace in the hole, the Dempsey roll, and everyone around could tell that he wanted to finish the fight right then and there.
Not unusual for Skoufis, he saw right through this plan and the exhaustion and damage Guthrie accumulated throughout the fight had made his moves telegraphed, basically telling Skoufis where he was going to punch next. With a quick but lethal spinning back heel kick, Skoufis ended the match with a solid hit to the back of Guthrie’s head. The match lasted exactly 42.2 seconds.
As we head into this new era with Nathan Skoufis as mayor of Guelph, we will see what he has in store for the city. The current whereabouts of Cam Guthrie are still unknown, although rumor has it that he is in the basement of Eric the Baker’s, training for a rematch and surviving off the best chocolate croissants in the gosh darn country.
Photo by Mars Chester Chow