Six steps to a healthier summer romance
Summer flings can be great. According to Urban Dictionary’s definition they are meant to be simple and drama-free, but that’s not always easy. So how do you make sure that your summer fling is good for you?
Begin by considering why you want a fling. If your motivation has to do with revenge, rebounding, or boredom, a summer fling probably isn’t what you need. If you’re looking to have fun and enjoy the company of someone else with no strings, a summer fling may be just what you need.
It is also beneficial to consider if a summer fling is right for you. A casual relationship is not for everyone, you need to decide if it is something you want, and make sure that you’re not just doing it because your friends are or because it seems cool.Once you have decided that a summer fling is what you are looking for and you have found someone who is interested, it is important to have continuous open communication. Researchers Melissa Bisson and Timothy Levine discovered that these types of relationships tend to have a lot of uncertainty, such as how to label the relationship, how to maintain it, and what the future of the relationship is. They also found that most people do not discuss these issues.
- Set ground rules
While most people do not seem to have ground rules, they are vital. If you want to have a good, healthy summer fling then discussing expectations is imperative. You want to make sure everyone is on the same page.
- Have conversations
It is also important to remember that things can change, so you need to continue to have these conversations throughout the relationship. Avoiding these conversations is not going to get anyone what they want.
- Reflect on your feelings and expectations
Summer flings can be great. Bisson and Levine noted that they allow for sex, a lack of commitment, and convivence. But there are some drawbacks to keep in mind. The researchers found that there can be negative emotions, such as jealousy or hurt feelings, and sometimes one person will develop further feelings that are not reciprocated.
- Practice safe sex
Whenever you are having sex it is necessary to take precautions against STIs and unwanted pregnancy by using protection. Speak to your sexual partners and disclose any information about your own sexual health that might affect them. If you are sexually active and non-monogamous remember to get tested regularly and after each new partner.
- Embrace adventure
Summer flings are a great opportunity to try new things (in or out of the bedroom) and have some fun! But keep in mind that you don’t have to do everything with your summer fling, you can each have your own activities you do separately.
- Aim for a good goodbye
Lastly, try to end your summer fling on a positive note. There does not have to be a specific date set for when you end things; you can just let the relationship run its course. Having those continuous discussions will help you to know when the relationship is over.
Photo Courtesy of Toa Heftiba via CC0