A solution for parking woes — sort of
Have you ever rushed to campus after an infuriating commute that took 18 minutes even though Google Maps promised it would only take seven, been so stressed out because you’ve only got three minutes before you’re late for your class with a huge assignment due at the start, then sat and cried in the middle of the parking lot because you couldn’t find a space to park your car? If so, you’re not alone.
After failing out of his first-year seminar on time management because he was chronically late for class and always forgot to do his assignments, Justin Time blamed it on the lack of available parking spaces on campus. He tried to think of a solution, but unfortunately couldn’t rise up to the occasion despite his mother begging him to “just wake up earlier,” and his professor’s advice to “please start taking notes in class so I can at least say you tried and give you a passing grade.”
However, Time’s luck began to change when he attended the annual charity gala for legless lizards awareness on campus. Dressed in his formal attire, he was mistaken for a valet at the event.
“Some guy just pulled up in his Mercedes and tossed me his keys and a fiver, then left,” said Time. “I didn’t know what to do with the car actually so I just left it where it was.”
Eventually, Time put two and two together and realized he could earn money just by dressing up in a tuxedo and waiting for someone to drive up to him. So far, Time has been frequenting parking lots on campus with a cardboard sign reading “Va-lei” until someone desperate enough tosses him some cash and jumps out of their car.
Several of Time’s customers have complained to U of G about the unreliable valet service after their cars get towed, or had their car misplaced because Time forgot where it was parked.
The Contrarion reached out to U of G administration and a representative who asked to remain anonymous had this to say about the matter: “We currently do not offer an official valet service and discourage students and faculty members from approaching anyone offering to park their car. We are aware of the lack of available parking on campus and in response, we will start selling more parking passes.”
When asked if these new passes would be for a new parking lot, the representative responded: “What’s that now? Oh, no, we are not creating more parking spaces, we are just going to sell more passes so that more people are allowed to park. Our job is to know what students want and this is it. It’s all very exciting.”
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Feature photo edited by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion