How I see you see me

Discrimination during job searching and on the job

Have you ever applied for a job that you felt you were a good fit for, did well in the interview, and then found you didn’t get it? Even under normal circumstances, it’s an incredibly frustrating feeling. I think the reason it’s so frustrating is that you’ve invested time and effort going through the hiring process only to be rejected without explanation or feedback.

I never thought that after completing three university degrees and working at The Ontarion for three years, that I’d have trouble finding a meaningful and well-paying career.

This past January, I applied for an editing position that left me questioning whether I was being sensitive or if I had been discriminated against because I am a woman of colour.

Here’s what happened.

I was asked by the hiring person at a company to apply for a job at an organization that produces content about technology. The first question I asked was: “Is it necessary for me to have an engineering background for this position?” I was told it wasn’t necessary at all and convinced to apply, so I did.

Over the month-long interview process, I was asked to do a phone interview, in-person interview, writing exercise, and editing exercise. They said I was their lead candidate, that I shone in every interview, and everyone I had met liked me.

Oddly, during the in-person interview one of the three interviewers did not show up, much to the surprise of the other two. I was told that the absent man was the only one who worked in the office where the position would be. Despite his absence, the other interviewers sent me more tests, which they said I completed successfully.

I was then told I made it to the final step of the hiring process: a meeting with the CEO. The next day, I got a call from an apologetic man (the one who had asked me to apply), who told me the CEO would not meet with me because I lacked engineering experience.

Since this incident, the company has posted similar positions related to editing under different job titles and the person in charge of hiring is now the man who didn’t show up to my interview. I noted that the new job descriptions also don’t require applicants to have an engineering background.

The more I thought about what happened and asked others for their thoughts, the more I believed certain individuals at this company discriminated against me on the basis of gender and race; unfortunately, they were the ones with the final say.

After sharing this story, I have been advised to change my name on my résumé or to remove my PhD from my résumé, so I don’t appear overqualified or more educated than the person who I would report to.

I know people mean well, but I have no intention to hide my ethnicity or to make myself appear less than I am to make someone else feel comfortable. I am proud of who I am, where I come from, and what I have done with my life so far.

Many people have also said I have grounds for a human rights complaint, but I’m not interested in filing a complaint. Those complaints can take years to resolve, the company would have expensive lawyers, and I don’t feel able to fight that particular fight as I face returning to job searching. I’m writing this because I want people to know that these things still happen. We don’t live in a utopian, post-racial society. We have not achieved “enough” gender equality.

Guelph is no exception. This past year I’ve noticed a lot of subtle discrimination here. Despite the diverse and supportive environment within The Ontarion office, even my colleagues who work in the business department have pointed out that people will call or email them instead of me about editorial content —  I’m listed as the contact for editorial. I don’t think this has been the experience of every Editor-in-Chief and may have something to do with the foreignness of my name.

I have also noticed that sometimes people who walk into the office to discuss editorial content will continue to address my coworkers rather than me, despite it being explained to them by the person they are speaking to that I am the head of editorial and would be best able to help them. I asked my colleagues if this is something they have noticed or if it is just in my head? They confirmed that they have noticed it and apologized despite it not being their fault in any way.

Microaggressions are so small that the person experiencing them often question if they’re really happening, but they are felt a little more strongly with each occurrence. It is very helpful for me to have other people notice them and talk (or joke) about them and strive to come up with solutions.  

During my time at The Ontarion I have also noticed that people belonging to the majority group have told me how to do my job properly on numerous occasions — whether it’s yelling at me on the phone, writing me an angry email, or leaving a comment online. In contrast, people belonging to other marginalized groups have generally been more respectful, understanding (opting to make requests, not demands), and willing to develop a solution with me when differences arise.  

I feel thankful for what I have been able to learn at The Ontarion over the last three years. I am grateful for those who act as allies and ask me questions about my experiences and share their perspectives with me. I am also thankful for people who pause and take a moment to reflect on what they’re doing and how it may impact those who do not share their experiences or their privileges. Due to people like that, who try to see people as they are and not through flawed stereotypes, I remain optimistic that meaningful opportunities will eventually come my way and that there will be employers who see me for who I am and what I can do.

Portrait by Barbara Salsberg Mathews (Instagram: maddysmom_4u)