Master’s degrees and bedtime stories: Finding balance as a student-parent

Scheduling and support systems have been crucial to Syeda Sidra Jamal as she raises her son and completes her studies

Nov. 20 is World Children’s Day, and while university isn’t typically associated with the youngsters, some students at the U of G might consider celebrating the day with their own little ones.

School is undoubtedly an undertaking that takes up a lot of time and effort, so some might wonder how certain students can pursue their studies while they’re also parenting a child.

Syeda Sidra Jamal is a graduate student in the Master of Public Health program as well as a mother to her young son. While attending online lectures, she also folds the laundry, and between her classes, she prepares food in the slow cooker. As a student-parent, Jamal keeps a close eye on the clock at all times and schedules for absolutely everything from cleaning and studying, to playtime and bedtime.

“I plan and finish the majority of my daily tasks (both domestic and academic deadlines) while my son is in school,” Jamal told The Ontarion.

“After picking him up from school in the afternoon, I make sure to give him a few hours of uninterrupted quality time. I have those hours blocked off and no group assignments or meetings occur at that time. I am thus able to give my child the attention and nurturing environment that he needs.”

Jamal’s routine is crucial not only to her grades, but also to the healthy development of her son.

Academic stress and assignment deadlines can be extremely challenging on their own. Paired with the responsibility of parenting, it would be easy for student-parents to foster bad habits, says Jean Thompson, practicum coordinator for U of G’s bachelor of applied sciences.

Such bad habits include giving children excessive screen time or feeding them quick, but un- healthy foods. Having to educate children to unlearn these habits is often more difficult than getting them there in the first place, Thompson adds, so these challenges can easily snowball into even more stress for parents who are already struggling.

COVID-19 has been an additional factor that can make student-parenting challenging.

In particular, Thompson told The Ontarion that schedules and arrangements are more difficult to maintain since, for example, a child with COVID-19 symptoms would not be allowed to attend school or daycare. She also states that, while students can get extensions on assignments, there is no time off for taking care of children.

However, the transition to online study was somewhat beneficial for Jamal, who says she saved time that she would have otherwise spent getting ready in the morning and commuting to school. She also emphasises that the support she has from her husband has made parenting and studying achievable. She wanted to pursue higher education at a time she felt was best for her family.

“I was not ready to hand [my son] over to a stranger in a daycare until he could verbalize his needs and emotions,” said Jamal.

Because of this, Jamal became a stay-at-home mom while also preparing for her university career by volunteering with the Halton Baby-Friendly Initiative, as well as the Halton Breastfeeding Connection. The former is a non-profit community coalition that ensures families have access to breastfeeding support and assists local organizations that want to become baby-friendly. There, Jamal was allowed to bring her son with her on the field, so she was saved from the stress of finding a caregiver. The latter is a free mother-to-mother telephone service in which Jamal spoke with other moms and offered them breastfeeding support.

With all of this volunteer work, Jamal found herself qualified for a master’s program. So four years after her son was born, she applied.

“My first day at university was my son’s first day in kindergarten!”

Since instructor-led classes were not available at the time, Jamal’s first semester of courses were self-taught. She found this to be a challenging experience, but once Jamal was able to attend regular classes, she made a point to introduce herself to professors as a student-parent. Luckily, Jamal says that they’ve been understanding and helpful, providing “valuable guidance and support” whenever needed.

“Parenting children is a rewarding experience,” said Jamal. “I do not feel like I am missing out since I can always choose to modify my career path as my son grows up and becomes more independent. I am making conscious decisions to ensure I only take so much on my plate that I can bear. And so far, so good!”

A version of this article appeared in print in The Ontarion issue 191.3 on Oct 28, 2021.

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