A look at stalking and its adaptation to the online world

A conversation with Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis on stalking, its portrayal in popular media, and how to support victims

January was Stalking Awareness Month, an annual event that serves to recognize the victims of stalking and educate the public about the crime itself.

This year, as methods of stalking adapt to the world of remote communication, it is important to be aware of the signs that this unwanted behaviour is taking place.

Stalking is a form of unwelcome attention, harassment, or other actions directed towards a person that would cause reasonable fear and a potential threat to their safety. It is illegal in Canada under the criminal harassment provisions of the Criminal Code.

Stalking Awareness Month was created in 2004 by the National Center for Victims of Crime, an American nonprofit organization based out of Virginia. By raising awareness about the crime, the event is intended to facilitate the development and implementation of interdisciplinary stalking response efforts.

Interest in research regarding stalking has increased significantly in recent years, especially with the proliferation of social media and other related technologies that potentially make stalking easier to accomplish.

Stalking behaviours can include repeated or unwanted phone calls, text messages, or engagement over social media, unwanted gifts, threats towards the victim or their family members and friends, impersonating others online, spreading false information about someone, consistent visual or physical closeness such as waiting for someone outside of their place of work or school, following someone, or watching them from a distance.

Anyone can be a victim of stalking, but women are much more likely to encounter stalking than men.

Statistics Canada reports that approximately 62 per cent of stalking victims are women. Furthermore, 74 per cent of perpetrators are men.

In light of statistics such as these, professionals and researchers have characterized stalking as a gender-based crime.

Additionally, members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community are more likely to be victims of stalking than heterosexual and cisgender individuals. The likelihood of victimization further increases for people of colour in the 2SLGBTQ+ community.

“There comes a lot of fear and danger when it comes to lack of visibility. And that can be someone who is racialized, Indigenous, or a member of the 2SLGBTQ+ community,” said Jensen Williams, public educator for Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis.

“And with that lack of visibility… often comes fear and targeting. So with a crime like stalking, we see that disproportionate impact on marginalized communities, whether that be women, queer folks, trans folks, or people of colour.”

The majority of stalking victims are stalked by someone who is known to them, typically a former or current intimate partner. Stalking by intimate partners often occurs in addition to partner violence and may be a signal that other forms of abuse are also occuring. Stalking is also often used as a tactic to gain control and impose coercion in a relationship.

“Stalking can occur in intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and even human trafficking. We know that sexual violence rates amongst students are very high. One in five university students will experience some form of sexual violence while they’re at university, and that can include stalking as one of those behaviours,” said Williams.

According to a study published by the National Centre for Disease Control in the United States, 18-to-24-year-olds encounter the highest rates of stalking amongst adults. This age demographic comprises a significant proportion of student populations at college and university campuses.

Williams adds that a danger worth raising awareness about, particularly for young people, is thinking that stalking is part of a normal relationship.

Controlling behaviours, such as reading a partner’s private messages, can be mistakenly interpreted as flattering rather than unnecessarily invasive. Due to the normalization of stalking behaviours through popular culture (i.e. TikTok trends, TV shows, romantic comedies), and lack of education services, these potentially abusive behaviours are not identified as harmful, but as a normal part of a relationship.

Williams also said that the ways in which stalking is portrayed through popular media, along with the public feedback of these TV shows and movies, undercuts the severity of stalking, minimizes these behaviours, and in some cases even romanticizes them.

The social media response to the hit Netflix series You is a prime example of this romanticization, Williams said.

You is a psychological thriller that follows character Joe Goldberg and his unhealthy obsession with a romantic interest. This fixation eventually leads to extreme stalking, emotional manipulation, kidnapping, and murder.

Users on social media have expressed their attraction to and romantic fantasies about Joe, writing things like, “kidnap me pls,” or “Ur gorgeous. I can see past that crazy [expletive] lol.” Williams said this is obviously problematic as it glamorizes stalking behaviours.

“For young people, and students in particular, we know that dating and relationships are a part of our everyday lives, so we need to be cautious and critical of how these behaviours are presented. I would say that the media has definitely played a role in glorifying them,” Williams said.

With the increase of online presence during the COVID-19 pandemic, stalking behaviours are expected to evolve and respond to the increase in remote communications.

Though there hasn’t been much data published yet about the amount of online stalking occurring during the pandemic, pre-pandemic studies show that “30 per cent of stalking incidents were happening online…We have seen an increase in online violence, and an increased use of social media throughout the pandemic,” Williams said.

“It also takes away from in-person opportunities for stalking. Say you are being stalked by someone in the workplace and that workplace is shut down, and you are working from home. That can then translate to that stalking moving to the form of email, or social media messages.”

According to Williams, it is likely that online forms of stalking have increased throughout the pandemic. Therefore, support services ought to reflect this change.

This can be achieved by updating education plans and safety resources, as well as supports, planning, and privacy protections. This would help members of the public identify what stalking may look like and how to respond and seek support if they or someone they know is victimized.

In regards to supporting victims of stalking, “the key thing to always start with is to believe the victim,” said Williams.

It is important to let the victim know that the potential stalking behaviours that they are experiencing are not okay and to label it as unhealthy or offensive.

Williams adds that another important point in supporting the victim is to focus on the wrongfulness of the perpetrator’s actions rather than critique the victim’s response. In their response, one can also encourage the victim to document the incidents through screenshots or a document log that indicates when and where the situation occurred and what exactly happened.

Furthermore, “following [the victim’s] lead is what would be most helpful for them in this moment, and helping them connect to resources that can be of support, frequently checking in with them, identifying unsafe spaces in the community, and who can be reached out to to expand support.”

A balanced combination of listening to the victim, believing and validating their experiences, helping them access resources, checking in on them, and encouraging them to document stalking behaviours, is the best way to be an inclusive and effective supporter.

A version of this article appeared in print in The Ontarion issue 192.2 on Jan. 27, 2022.

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