Clever DIY Halloween costumes for the lazy and cheap.
I really love fall, and every year I look forward to the weather getting colder, the bees finally disappearing, and the end-of-Halloween bite-sized chocolate sales. However, I tend to dread October’s arrival, as Halloween has become one of my least favourite holidays as I age. I used up all of my clever costume ideas in high school, and I don’t like my stomach enough to wear anything I could buy from a costume store.
So, for all of you other non-creative, non-stomach-baring, cheap and lazy people out there, I’ve compiled a list of the easiest, cheapest, most-clever costumes I happened to stumble upon on the Internet.
Elmer’s Glue Bottle:
This is hilariously easy, and will cost you about 7 dollars and one sheet of paper.
Step One: find and purchase an orange toque. Your best bet is somewhere like Canadian Tire or TSC Hardware, in the section with all of the hunting stuff.
Step Two: print out the Elmer’s Glue logo onto a piece of paper, and attach to the white T-shirt that you inevitably have lying around somewhere.
Step Three: acquire bonus points for successfully using the double entendre that must exist in “BONDS STRONG FOR ALL YOUR NEEDS.”
Heisenburger:
There are going to be so many versions of Walter White on the streets this Halloween. Set yourself apart with an oh-so-clever play on words.
Step One: find (and purchase if necessary) black sunglasses and a black hat.
Step Two: purchase iron-on transfer paper (found at Target, Wal-Mart, or Staples). Following the instructions on the package, print an image of a hamburger onto a sheet and iron it onto a white T-shirt.
Step Three: buy yourself some blue meth. Or, if you’re into legality, dye some sugar blue with food colouring or purchase some blue rock candy.
Ghostbusters Logo:
This is a great alternative to the typical “I didn’t have any ideas so I cut two holes in my bed sheet” – and it only takes a modicum of effort more.
Step One: paint the infamous Ghostbusters ghost face on to the white sheet you were going to ruin anyway.
Step Two: cut out a giant circle with a line through it out of cardboard. Paint this red with tempera paint (available at the dollar store) and wear it around your neck all night.
Step Three: purchase and wear white gloves.
Step Four: prepare yourself to be constantly asked, “who you gonna call?”
Google Maps:
If you’re looking to dress up with a friend or partner, this is both hilarious and super easy.
Step One: using yellow duct tape and a permanent marker, create a mini Google Map on a t-shirt of any colour. Print out the blue symbols for bus stops and landmarks and attach to the shirt.
Step Two: Cut giant “Point A” and “Point B” markers out of cardboard. Cut a circle in the middle just big enough for your head. Paint with two separate shades of red tempera paint.
Wayne and Garth:
The best part about this costume is that you probably already own everything you need to put it together.
Step One: gather together a grungy plaid shirt, a black T-shirt, nerd glasses, a trucker hat, and two pairs of jeans that you don’t mind destroying at the knees.
Step Two: rip the knees of aforementioned jeans into oblivion.
Step Three: if you are not already the proud owner of a fantastic mullet, head to the nearest costume shop to purchase one each in blonde and jet black.
Tobias and Lindsay Fünke:
For my final pick, I present to you: the easiest way to be culturally relevant this Halloween.
Step One: make jeans into cut-offs. Find a red tank top and write “SLUT” on it with a permanent marker.
Step Two: for Tobias, acquire blue face paint and slather it all over yourself.
Step Three: become excited that this costume allows one party to wear socks and sandals and another to wear leggings as pants – comfort all around!
Now, go and enjoy all of the time-and-money saving, you savvy costume-maker, you. Happy Halloween!