This time of year asks us to believe in the unbelievable – red-nosed reindeers, tiny toy-making elves, a gift giving fat man, and the disciplined holiday budgeter. Yes, a mythical creature who started a holiday savings account last January and contributed to it on a regular basis, thus amassing hundreds of dollars to splash out on Christmas gifts.
But for those who may have not planned a year ahead, the dollar store may be a really tempting place to start shopping, and there are bargains to be found that will make decent gifts – Betty Crocker baking pans, silicone oven mitts and a bamboo cutting board would be perfect for the chef or baker on your list.
Though, however tempting the price, there are just some gifts from the dollar store that shouldn’t show up under the Christmas tree.
Gaming bundle for Nintendo Wii – especially if you want the game stylus and the sensor bar to last more than an hour and not burst into flames due to cheap and shoddy wiring.
Bruschetta. Fresh food and dollar store are not two phrases often found together. Bruschetta is toasted Italian bread drizzled with olive oil and topped with fresh tomato, garlic and onions. Operative word here being “fresh,” not “dried out crusts,” encased in a carton, nary a tomato in sight. This is not bruschetta. I’m not sure what it is, so learn to make your own.
Snow carpet. This is not the snow sled you know and love. This baby is so thin its razor sharp edge will cut your chin like a rogue piece of paper, and chances are good it won’t survive a run-in with a snow covered log at the bottom of the local toboggan hill.
Knock-off toys. If your niece or nephew wants Lego blocks or My Little Pony swag, do not give them a cheap knock-off. They know the difference and they will hate you. I’m still bitter about a fake Meccano set I received one Christmas long ago.
Potpourri. Usually purchased for their flowery, spicy fragrance – dollar store bags of potpourri have taken an unfortunate six-week journey across a salty ocean on a container ship swamped harshly and often with fishy sea water, leaving a smell that just does not go away. Cinnamon it ain’t.
Personal massager. This $3 intimate device with the “flexi-touch massage head” is made of polyvinyl chlorides (PVC). Remember PVCs, the evil toxins that have caused reproductive disorders and cancers in mice? PVCs have since been banned in children’s toys, but apparently not in adult ones.
Condoms. Ask yourself how long have those things been on the shelf? Think it’s hard to study with a hangover? Try cramming all night with a bawling child as a roommate.
No-name pharmaceuticals. Do you really want to take the chance on a no-name diarrhea medicine? Is your gut bulletproof? If it were, would you be reaching for such a medicine?
Burglar alarm. Don’t trust your valuables (including laptop, desktop, TV and phone) to this $2 item. It is possible in the case of a break-in the thief will steal this device as well – just for a laugh.
Chocolate imported from China. Up until 30 years ago, most Chinese citizens had never even tasted chocolate. Four years ago, Cadbury pulled chocolate made in its Beijing factory off the shelves due to high amounts of the industrial chemical melamine found in the milk. The best chocolate in the world comes from Belgium, Switzerland and France. Read the label.