The cool blue glow of the ubiquitous screen is common in modern life. It seems that we tend to experience life from a safe distance, with the computer screen acting as a mediator between our virtual worlds and tangible existence – and sometimes it’s hard to tell which one should take precedence.
It’s time to look beyond the screen and reflect on the implications of life lived online.
Amidst the 21st century zeitgeist of the web, we must contend with the fact that our attention is constantly being pulled in different directions. When it comes to social media, there’s pressure to maintain a web presence across different outlets, with each reflecting a specific aspect of our personality.
We must update our Facebook statuses, put our best face forward in our selfies, fill our Twitter feed with quips and clever observations, Instagram the most pictureque lattes and splendid sunsets, and fill our LinkedIn page with evidence of professionalism.
Constantly multitasking makes it hard to maintain focus when there are so many distractions merely a click away. The Internet is the procrastinator’s playground, and it has a worrisome tendency to split and fracture our attention span until we’re consuming information in bite-sized portions and craving that instant fix.
Increasingly, however, this mentality infringes upon our social relationships.
We encounter a deluge of information from all of these sources, but we’re often too overwhelmed to take the time to engage. We’re constantly updated on our friends’ and acquaintances’ lives, and our relationships (both platonic and romantic) have been irrevocably altered as a result.
The traditional notion of presence – “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing” – is devalued, so that we can seemingly maintain relationships with very little effort to connect face-to-face and in real time, often due to sheer laziness.
It is an inevitable fact that people will move in and out of your life, and this is particularly apparent during times of transition (i.e. university). Sometimes friendships fade away for a reason, but in the social media world, this distance becomes condensed and we’re given the option to continue to keep in touch with those who have moved on.
In nurturing these relationships from a distance, we are able to achieve the illusion of connection, despite a lack of presence. In these cases, the screen becomes a tool that shields us from inevitable facts of life, such as the necessary melancholy of losing touch with old friends.
However, nothing can truly replace presence or the real, organic exchange between people in real time and close physical proximity. In the context of romantic relationships, I would argue that this presence is absolutely imperative. Using social media to pursue dating can allow for interaction to occur while minimizing the risk of rejection, but in ways it can be unsatisfying.
A lingering gaze, an offhand comment imbued with innuendo, and that palpable electric tension in the air are all attributes of attraction that cannot be replicated online.
So let’s look at our crushes face-to-face, rather than Facebook to Facebook.
Liking someone’s profile picture is not the same as actually liking someone, just as “friend” requests aren’t necessarily synonymous with friendship.
When a romantic relationships ends, or you’re struggling with a break up, don’t post depressing status updates with bitter, passive-aggressive intent; let’s reserve our frustrations to vent over coffee with a friend.
In a world where virtual clutter can quickly accumulate, it can be hard to let go. But we should accept that some connections we make will be ephemeral.
Let’s all take the time to engage with each other in the 3-dimensional world, instead of permitting the ease of online communications to infringe on our real-life relationships.
Technology is a tool, of course, with the potential to enrich our lives if used prudently and strategically. But it also enables a dizzying array of questionable behaviour.
As writer Timothy Leary suggested in the 60s to “tune in, turn on and drop out,” these days we should log in, turn off, and go out.