Talking about depression often makes people uncomfortable. Whether you are a person that struggles with depression or a part of a support system, educating yourself is key to the recovery process. The stigma that often accompanies depression can be immensely frustrating for a person who is struggling or trying to find coping tools. Depression is not a sign of weakness. In fact, many intelligent, accomplished, and capable people have been depressed.
There are ways to learn new skills and integrate them into daily living that can help mitigate the effects of depression. Using a cognitive approach and implementing change takes courage and may feel frightening at first. When we are ill, everything feels like work. There are choices we can make to start feeling well again. Sometimes, we just don’t know where to start.
There are different factors that cause or continue a depressed state. One of these factors is our thoughts and what we do with them. We start developing self-talk at a very young age. Messages received from our caregivers and role models influence how we think about the world and ourselves. Teachers, parents, siblings, and friends constantly communicated to us and our thinking patterns started to evolve. We digested and internalized the information and if the messages were healthy and positive, we usually functioned with a healthy, assertive approach in life. If the messages were negative and not supportive, our self-esteem and confidence were affected, leaving us on our own to develop coping skills, which can result in an adult using tools they taught themselves as a child.
We are always thinking. What we think and say to ourselves impacts how we feel and ultimately how we react and behave. As adults, we can choose to replace any repetitive negative messages we have incurred and relearn a healthy, kind approach with our thinking.
If we take a look at different situations that occur in our daily lives, we start recognizing the thoughts and feelings we have and the behavioural results that come from them. Here’s an example: Two friends are invited to a party. One looks forward to enjoying themselves, excited to see and engage with others. The other doesn’t really like social gatherings, feels miserable, and sees people as judgmental and rejecting. Because of the way we think, we determine the outcome of the experience before it has happened. Being aware and in the present with our thoughts allows us to change learned, negative self-talk into positive self-talk, altering the experience.
We don’t always realize how tough we are on ourselves through our thoughts. We might ask ourselves, “What would a supportive, positive person say to me in this moment?” Looking at it this way, we realize that self-talk should be non-judgmental, kind and free of expectations. We start becoming our own best friend and taking ownership for what we think and feel.
When one is depressed, the thoughts and emotions that accompany depression are feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, fatigue and sadness. No one seems to understand and our feelings don’t seem to be acknowledged. Our thinking is negative. By challenging negative thought patterns and replacing them with positive ones, we start to feel empowered, and the process of regaining our self-esteem begins. We cannot control what others think, feel, or do. We can, however, choose a positive way of thinking for ourselves. Positive thoughts, affirmations, and being in the company of positive people all feel good. We gradually begin to hold our head up again. We start feeling hopeful and confident.
When we are in the present moment, not in the past or the future, we are taking time to listen to our thoughts. We know how they make us feel, whether they are positive or negative. Using this tool when we are depressed allows us to aid the recovery process. Through a cognitive approach, we start living a more content and wholesome life from the inside out.