Safe sex is the most fun sex
University can be an exciting and life-changing experience in more than one way. Chances are, this is the first you’ve lived on your own and enjoyed the freedoms that are a part of that – including the freedom of bringing whomever you choose into your life and into your bedroom.
I’ll preface this by saying that, as I sat down to write this article, it occurred to me that I am far from the authority on how to have fun with multiple partners and do it safely. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the last two and a half years, and my “nightlife” usually consists of too much television, roaming Pinterest, and (if I’m really lucky) gorging on pizza. Take my advice as seriously as you like, and know that I am not offended if you read this in the voice of someone wearing mom jeans and knitting a sweater. I am probably currently doing both of these things.
Protect yourself first.
This may seem pretty standard, but I think a lot of the time excitement and nervousness can drown out the logical voice in our heads. Most obviously, make sure you are using physical protection. Thanks to amazing health services on campus, you have access to most forms of birth control free of charge. They literally have a bowl of easily accessible, free-for-the-taking condoms in the health services building. But while physical protection is certainly key, you also need to consider protecting your feelings. I’m sure this isn’t something you want to hear, and I’m sure you’re rolling your eyes at me right now, but it can be really difficult to separate emotions and sex. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, and that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try (if that’s what you want to do). Do your best to be prepared for everything that comes with physical intimacy before you get down to the intimate part, but recognize that you will probably not be as prepared as you think you are – and that’s okay.
Be an adult about it.
Maybe you’re reading this thinking, “Man, this girl is a prude. Does she honestly think we need such basic sex advice?” But it’s important to be level-headed and proactive in these sometimes spur-of-the-moment situations. Even if you’re only planning to be with a partner once, it’s good to have a (hopefully quick and painless) conversation to make sure everyone is on the same page. It sucks, but you’ll protect yourself and your partner from even more awkward conversations down the road, from “Oh, you think we’re dating? I was thinking about…a one-time thing…Awkward,” to “Oh, you didn’t actually use a condom? Maybe that explains a few things about my weight gain…Awkward.” Sure, you might kill the mood, but you will definitely find the mood again. Herpes, on the other hand, as they mentioned in The Hangover, “that shit sticks with you.”
Don’t be afraid to talk about it.
I hope, from the bottom of my mom-jeans-wearing heart, that all of your sexual escapades are safe, consensual, and fun. But if you find yourself in a position which makes you uncomfortable, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. In the midst of it all, if you just don’t feel safe anymore, you can call Campus SafeWalk, and they will pick you up and escort you safely home. The aforementioned Campus Health Services are not only excellent for preparing for safe sex; they’re also a fantastic resource for maintaining your personal sexual health afterwards. At the root of it all, however, it’s important to be comfortable talking about it. Talk to your friends, your family, or anyone you feel like, really. Know that there is always an ear willing to listen, whether you just feel mildly uncomfortable about last night or you are truly struggling. There are also several hotlines and counselling services available to University of Guelph students, so please use them: sexual health does not just include physical health.