The real how-to on talking sports with women
Presenting next in the Women 101 convention that seemingly never ceases to end: Men’s Health magazine on how to talk sports with women. Any woman to be exact, at least that’s what the headline read.
The very lengthy, in-depth, how-to, 100-word article emphasized – with the help of no else than a man with a Ph.D. outlining what women don’t care about – the overwhelming need women have for “storylines” over sporting statistics.
It goes on to say that, “she’d rather hear about how [Dominic Moore] supported his wife’s battle with cancer” than his scoring record, while finishing strong with the ever-so classic, “Just don’t expect her to wear the foam finger.”
Personally, as a female sports fan that has actually worn a foam finger, that final line really got to me. I mean, after all this time, have I been wrong about my role as a sports fan? Am I letting my must-have-storylines gender down? I should be ashamed, really.
I shouldn’t care that Moore was a pivotal depth member of the New York Rangers 2014 Stanley Cup-run, recording eight points in 25 playoff games. I shouldn’t care that Moore was resigned by the Rangers to a two-year contract extension worth $1.5 million per season. But I do.
Clearly I’m doing something wrong. But I know I’m not the only one.
In a matter of a couple of hours (and that’s being generous), Men’s Health was forced to remove the article from their website and extended an apology via Twitter that still somehow missed the point of the backlash they had received.
The apology stated the “negative feedback was justified,” and that “it wasn’t meant to suggest that women are in any way inferior to men, in sports, or anything else.”
We’ll give it an “A” for effort, but that’s about all it deserves.
The abundance of backlash that Men’s Health received for the female-written generalization was not because women felt inferior, or because they thought that’s what the piece suggested. The backlash was a result of one very significant thing: the generalization.
Shocking fact: there are women in the world who love sports and there are women in the world who don’t.
Another shocking fact: there are men in the world who love sports and there are men in the world who don’t. Does Cosmo publish articles on how to talk to men who don’t like sports? Can’t you just see the front cover now? How to talk sports with your man who hates sports.
Yeah, right.
Is a woman incapable of learning about a sport even if she isn’t a fan to begin with? Did anyone ever consider talking to said woman about how Dominic Moore made the New York Rangers fourth line one of the best in the NHL?
Clearly Mr. Ph.D. forgot to give it a try.
She might not buy into it, but maybe she will. At the end of the day, it depends on the “she” (spoiler alert: we don’t all share one brain).
Women, specifically sports fans in this instance, are simply exhausted of being told how to act, what we’re supposed to be interested in, and how others are supposed to interact with us. This is something men should understand better than anything. Aren’t you the ones who get your boxers in a knot every time a female bitterly exclaims: “Men are all the same!” (Women are not innocent, we know that! Heck, one of us authored the article.)
For whatever reason, however, women and sports are simply a foreign concept that nobody can seem to solve (in spite of the continuous valiant effort to try).
We put on the foam finger and own more sports apparel than designer purses: aliens, obviously. We couldn’t care less about that touchdown you’re yelling about: question mark… and a lot of them. I mean, how doesn’t she understand how big that play was?
There’s no winning with us, right? Wrong.
It’s simple really. The Secret to Talking Sports with Any Woman offers up the suggestion to, “treat your heroes as people and not just players on a field, and you’ll suck her in.”
Well here’s a lesson for you, Men’s Health, treat your women like people. There’s a how-to you won’t have to delete, I can promise you that.