Three tips to challenge yourself
We’ve all experienced it – sweating, shaking hands, and the warm-faced blushing on that first date, and the quick heartbeat mixed with an uneasy stomach during a job interview. It’s all part of stepping out of your comfort zone for the majority of us. It doesn’t get in the way with our day-to-date activities, yet, it’s a group of dreaded feelings that up to 95 per cent of us experience at parties, during presentations, or when speaking within groups.
Whether social anxiety is a diagnosed disorder that you’re dealing with, or you’re trying to step outside of your comfort zone, we have a few helpful suggestions to build confidence in social situations.
Don’t focus too much on the physical
Social anxiety often comes paired with sweating, trembling, and a quickened heart rate. Recognizing these feelings in uncomfortable situations can often make the environment double up on the awkward scale for you personally. Make a mental note that even though you feel like everyone in the room is zoning in on your sweaty palms, there probably isn’t a person in the room who can notice any of these physical feelings. With that, take a breath and focus on calming aspects rather than putting all your thoughts into your heart thumping a mile-a-minute.
Outside of the environment, try yoga or meditation once a week to relax and work on reducing your anxiety. Researchers at Stanford University found that “training in mindfulness meditation” is significantly influential for people dealing with social anxiety disorder and decreasing their symptoms.
Try to stay positive
Your job interview in an hour is enough pressure without having “what ifs” and self-doubt running through your mind. Instead of asking yourself what will happen if you make a mistake, why not give yourself five compliments prior to that big meeting? If you’re busy worrying about the amount of things your date hopefully won’t notice, change your thought process. Focus on all the things your date will like about you, all while making note of the grander scale – if there isn’t a second date, remind yourself there are (of course) more fish in the sea. Recognizing negative thoughts is one thing, but it’s up to you to challenge them in order to improve and progress in social situations.
It’s also important to keep in mind that staying positive is different than thinking perfectly. Imagining the worst-case scenario and the perfect scenario can cause the same amount of pressure. Visualize positive atmospheres, but don’t hold yourself to perfection. Positivity should allow room for mistakes – we’re all human, after all.
Work on your delivery
A survey conducted in the United States in 2013 showed that 95 per cent of Americans listed death as their second biggest fear – second to only public speaking. If speaking in front of large groups of people is what makes you uncomfortable, nothing will help improve the situation more than practice. Try delivering your presentation to yourself in front of the mirror, and then move on to your roommates, and then possibly to an even bigger group of friends. Practice will reduce your anxiety, which will in turn lead to greater confidence.
Don’t let nerves stop you from being social. People are, by nature, social beings that feed off of contact with one another. It’s okay to let somebody take the lead on that group presentation if you aren’t comfortable, however, give yourself the opportunity every once in awhile to prove what your made of – if not for anybody else, for yourself. This will help build your confidence, and, in turn, reduce your anxiety in social situations overall.