When a Parent Gets Diagnosed with Cancer

Ways to find a balance in an uncontrollable situation 

No one likes to hear that dreaded word – that word that has the power to flip your life around in a matter of seconds. A word that you hear often, but never expect will apply to someone you love.

Cancer.

Every day, 524 Canadians are diagnosed with cancer. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, the whole family is affected. It becomes a challenging time for everyone. For university students, hearing that a parent has been diagnosed with cancer can be one of the hardest things we have to go through.

There seems to be a lack of available advice for those going through such a situation. Here are a few tips I wish somebody had told me when my father was diagnosed in first year – I like to think of these tips as taking control in uncontrollable situation.

First, accepting the fact that your parent has cancer is the most important step

Your life may never go back to the way it was, and denial will get you nowhere. Accept it and begin to realize it is your chance to step up. It’s time to take control of your own life and be there for your family.

Understand the severity of your parent’s cancer

Knowledge is power, and understanding how sick your parent actually is can work to your benefit.  By understanding their illness, it makes it easier for you to empathize, as well as to realize why they are acting a certain way. Your parent’s personality, image, and outlook may change. It can be hard to understand what they are going through since are not the one with cancer, but you want them to feel comfortable asking for help – you never want them to feel like a burden. Remember that this is hard for them, too.

Don’t let it weigh you down, and don’t compare your life to others’

There are going to be times when you can’t believe how unfair life turned out to be – but negative thinking will not make it go away. As hard as it may be, try to focus on the positives that life brings you.

Enjoy the time you spend with them

Your parent may have cancer, but they still want to spend time with you, and they probably now have even more free time than ever before. Find an activity the both of could enjoy together.

Try not to jump to conclusions

Of course, everyone’s worst fear is losing a parent. There may not be a cure for cancer, but there are treatments that can be used to fight it. Don’t give up hope, especially when sometimes it may seem like that’s all you’ve got.