1 Disappointing-disastrous-downright-dismal-drudge out of 4
There are bad movies in this world. There are disappointing features, there are depressing films, there are unsettling screenings, and there are bad movies in this world. There are movies that I’d streamed on Netflix that have made me reconsider my subscription. There are short films by aspiring filmmakers on YouTube that have made me want to reconsider my stance on internet commenting. There are Slamdance, and Sundance, and Cannes, and Telluride, and Toronto film festival features that have left me worried about the state of the film industry.
In spite of all of these films, I have attempted to remain professional and cordial; I’ve attempted to maintain dignity in my reviews, and I’ve attempted to ensure that class and sophistication can shine through. However, Michael Bay’s latest film in the Transformers franchise might just be the straw that breaks this camel’s back. Thankfully, the film has its redeeming qualities, and it is only due to the three or four things that Bay does right that I am able to prevent myself from launching what would only be called the review that ended my career.
Picking up shortly after the third film in the franchise, Age of Extinction tells the story of Texan inventor Cad Yeager – no doubt a descendent of the legendary Chuck – and his family’s interactions with the eponymous Transformers. During a routine dumpster dive at a rundown theatre – where Bay attempts to salvage what’s left of his career by offering witticisms on the state of the pop-film industry – Cad finds the dishevelled corpse of Autobot leader Optimus Prime. Through a series of mishaps and blind-luck draws, Cad, his daughter Tessa, Optimus, the Autobots, and the Decepticons become embroiled in a millennia-old battle for the Earth.
Much like every film in the franchise following the inaugural showing, Bay attempts to retcon facts and details from the rest of the franchise in Age of Extinction. To Bay, time is a fluid concept in the loosest of terms, and history – both fictional and otherwise – is muddled through outside influence. Over the course of four movies, Bay has offered a convoluted history of Earth’s interactions with the Transformers. In Age of Extinction, Bay attempts to revitalize the franchise by suggesting that Optimus, Megatron, and their mechanical siblings are all descendants of a higher power. Transformers were created – obviously – but not by a robotic deity, but by unidentified organisms of an extraterrestrial origin.
If my synopsis seems in any way interesting, I apologize for injecting vitality and intrigue into a stale, disappointing plot. Ehren Kruger’s script reads like a veritable disaster of science fiction tropes and clichés, and while the overarching “creation” plot would have made a far more interesting feature, Bay and his associates seem far more interested in sexualizing Tessa than building a coherent narrative.
Far be it from the film to only exploit underage girls, Age of Extinction is also obsessed with exploiting all of the merchandise provided by its army of sponsors. This is a Transformers movie, which means that American automobiles, beers, television manufacturers, flag makers, and even Beats electronica are all given screen time in a film that would have benefited from a reduced runtime. With Age of Extinction, a nonsensical third act set in China further allows the film to pander to Chinese corporations. At one point, the film even offers shameless praise to the Chinese Central Government, portraying the politicians in charge of protecting the Chinese people from fictional robots as the kind of quick-thinking, wise leaders Americans would more than love to have in charge.
In spite of all of my criticisms, I cannot deny that Michael Bay has learned from his previous stylistic attempts at making a good Transformers movie. All of the action is deftly framed, and though the camera occasionally insists on needlessly shaking, Bay’s direction is steady, as every punch, kick, and jump is comprehensible. Furthermore, Amir Mokri – in charge of cinematography – ensures that each frame is well-lit and colourful. The film’s palette is full of bright reds and oranges, and the dull browns and greys of the previous films are thankfully absent. Certainly, Bayisms – a needlessly static camera full of triumphant sweeps, pans, and raises – are present. However, the film succeeds from a stylistic perspective because this movie about alien robots fighting on Earth is made better by unnecessary triumph.
Overall, this film is a veritable disaster to watch, and most of the plot and dialogue is intolerable. If one is absolutely forced to view the film, rest assured that, at least, Bay frames his scenes in an interesting manner.