Guelph is a gloriously international city. Thanks to a population of diverse cultures from all over the world, hungry mouths and foodies alike can find almost anything that their culinary hearts desire. In spite of different tastes and appetites, there is, however, a single dish that unites all under its yummy, cheesy banner: the pizza. In a city boasting foods from Austria, Thailand, India, Greece, China, and even Ethiopia, there is no single dish that is more popular—and more widely ordered—than the Italian oven-baked staple.
Deciding on the best pizza in Guelph is a lot like asking a large group of friends what they want to eat. Everything is a matter of taste and opinion—and everything is dependent on one’s hungry circumstance. As a result of the complications that arose during my experimentation, I felt the need to create a metric to judge the pizza in Guelph. Food is heavily dependent on circumstance, after all, and it’s improper to judge pizza any differently. There are candidates for the crown in each category, but there’s only one king in each kingdom.
Best sit-down pizza: Bread Bar
It’s Saturday. You’re downtown. You’ve been shopping for hours. You’re tired and hungry, and you’ve got a hankering for a pizza fix. Sure, you could go home, order delivery, and wait. Or, you could find a restaurant, whip out your wallet, and prepare your tastebuds for a culinary masterpiece.
Simply put, the best restaurant pizza in Guelph comes from the newly opened Bread Bar. This Gordon Street eatery is a new addition to the Guelph restaurant scene, and though they haven’t been around for as long as some of their competitors, they provide a delicious pizza that’s not only cooked using locally-sourced ingredients, but it’s cooked entirely in their stone baked oven—like all of Bread Bar’s breads and desserts.
The restaurant itself is a soft mix between down-to-Earth and hipster-chic, and the atmosphere conveys Bread Bar’s “Earth to Table” philosophy. Meanwhile, earthy browns and vibrant greens make up the primary colours found in Bread Bar’s aesthetic, while servers and hosts are laid-back and friendly but infinitely knowledgeable and efficient.
Be warned, however: Bread Bar offers a number of different styles of, and toppings for their pizzas, so deciding on a pie to eat will be difficult. Personally, I’m a fan of the Wise Guy; with red sauce, mozzarella, fennel pork sausage, red onions, and ricotta cheese, you can’t go wrong.
Best delivery: Pizza Trokadero
Excluding the typical pizza options available in every city—Pizza Pizza, Domino’s, Little Caesar’s, Pizzaville, Pizza Hut, etc.—there are at least 30 other joints in Guelph that bake and deliver pizza. For many, there’s no difference between good delivery and good pizza because the only pizza they ever eat is delivered. For others, the taste of delivery pizza doesn’t matter, because delivery merely calls for expediency. Typically, the hungry, studying student doesn’t care about flavour; she mainly cares about consuming the necessary amount of calories and nutrients so she doesn’t pass out.
Good delivery isn’t just about pizza, though. It’s about speed, efficiency, friendliness, accessibility, as well as taste. A good delivery place is open late and ensures that a tasty pizza is delivered on time, in an almost perfect state. It does not demand any additional fees or hassle, and the pizza is provided by a delivery person who is not abrupt or rude. There are a lot of places that meet all of these requirements, with the sole exception being that they provide a shoddy product.
However, the reigning champion of delivery pizza—for many, the reigning champion of pizza overall—is none other than Pizza Trokadero. Their pizza is fresh and baked in-house. Their deliveries are efficient, and their drivers are friendly. There are no surprises when it comes to the bill, and, importantly, their pizza is delicious.
Pizza Trokadero comes with a single drawback: they’re not open late. Sunday to Wednesday, they close at 9 p.m. Thursday to Saturday, they close at 10 p.m. However, their pizza is so fresh and so tasty, their toppings are so plentiful, and their crust is that perfect combination of crunchy and gooey, that they deserve their crown anyway.
Best midnight pizza: Pizzaville
I once met a man who said his favourite food is “cheap, sh*tty pizza.” For a brief moment, I strongly considered naming this section after that man’s favourite food. However, I decided to go with my personal epithet for late-night pizza instead.
No one wins with midnight pizza. If you’re eating it, it’s because you have no other choice. You waited too late to order anything else, or your friends couldn’t make up their minds, or you’re no longer in the best state of mind, or—worse still—you’ve been studying for eight hours, and you’ve only now realized that you haven’t eaten in a day.
Midnight pizza: it’s the only solace for the wayward, lonely, and heartbroken. Midnight pizza provides the kind of culinary comfort that only grease and gastrointestinal pain can provide. You don’t eat midnight pizza because you want it. You eat midnight pizza because life has conspired in such a way that you literally have no other option.
For the price, convenience, and accessibility, not to mention the flavour, Pizzaville offers the best midnight pizza. That is to say, eating Pizzaville at two or three in the morning doesn’t produce instant regret once the effects of the evening wash off the next day. Their flavours are relatively enjoyable. The pie itself is well-constructed. The deliveries are quick. For what it’s worth, Pizzaville is a relatively enjoyable option for the midnight-inclined.
To the hungry and hopeful, I say this: try as much pizza as possible. Not every place in Guelph is great, but the Royal City has enough options to satisfy even the most demanding palates. However, if one insists on avoiding whimsy, consult this list and know that your pizza will certainly be delicious.