Dangles, snipes, cellys, ginos, and everything inbetween
As Canadians, most of us have spent some amount of time in and around hockey arenas—whether this time has been spent on the ice scoring goals, or in the stands with Tim Hortons coffee. Some of us are drawn to the rink for the love of the game, and others to support a friend, or simply for the allure of rink poutine.
We all know a middle-aged man who could have made it to “the show” if his knee didn’t give out on him in junior, and we’ve all met a kid who wants nothing more than to take a Zamboni for a joyride. Hockey is a very important part of our social culture; we declare war on friends sporting the wrong jersey during the NHL season, and we band together during Olympic years.
Recently, however, this culture has seen a significant shift. Over the past decade, the vocabulary of the hockey player has seen some colourful additions, which may seem a bit ridiculous.
If I told you that I dangled through some benders and sniped a gino bar-down before dropping the mitts with some duster who chirped my celly, most of you would know exactly what I’m talking about.
Some of you know someone who talks like that. He wears Roots track pants everywhere he goes and his sick flow is tucked under a Gongshow snapback. Some of you like him, some of you hate him, and some of you are him.
There’s a coinciding attitude that often comes along with this vocabulary and appearance, an arrogance that is perpetuated by our nation’s obsession with hockey, and our worship of the game’s elite. There are certainly those who take this hubris to preposterous levels, but every competitive athlete needs some level of braggadocios swagger. Belief in your skills and superiority is imperative to victory, and without that confidence, you might be better off sticking with Chel.
To many, the stereotype of the “hockey bro” is an entirely negative one; they belong to a group of unintelligible dudes that seem to have no comprehension of society outside of the arena that crowns them king. They obsess over top cheese clappers and wheeling rockets, not concerning themselves with the world outside of hockey. But this stereotype is a ludicrous exaggeration, a hyperbolic caricature of guys who are simply just having fun with their buddies, playing the sport that brought them together.
Ultimately, their ridiculous dialect is simply harmless jargon; an articulation that exclusively belongs to hockey players. This exclusivity cultivates unity, which is integral to a sport that turns teammates into brothers. The stereotypical “hockey bro” is a product of his environment, and an innocuous one at that. He is immersed in a sport that thrives on homosocial bonds and team experiences, playing a game that has a tendency to shun nonconformists from its imperative fraternity.
So, maybe that guy your best friend is dating says “sauce” too much, and maybe you disagree that a snapback is appropriate prom attire, but it is not our place to judge these beauties that are harmlessly living the dream. It’s all about camaraderie and creating lasting friendships through a sport you love, and that’s pretty unreal, bro.