Bieber’s most recent album has a secret prophetic purpose
The MacArthur Fellows program, awarded since 1981, is an American foundation that provides no-strings-attached grants to outstanding creative individuals. The award is considered to be one of the most prestigious prizes in the United States. The grant is awarded to inspire the carefully selected individuals in advancing their creative pursuits and professional dispositions.
It was announced last week that among the 2017 recipients is none other than the Canadian-born singer-songwriter, Justin Drew Bieber. The buzz around the nation once this news was released was enough to diminish any previous worries we may have had for the global honeybee decline.
When asked to make a statement about the daring decision, the anonymous selection committee disclosed that, upon the selection process, committee members were listening to Bieber’s 2015 album Purpose, which one of them decided to lyrically analyze as a lighthearted break from the rigorous selection process.
It was during this lyrical analysis that an anonymous committee member discovered a hidden code in the famous pop star’s songs. The member stated that, “Every sixth letter, in every sixth word, in every sixth sentence, of every sixth song on the 2015 album, makes up a message.”
According to the member, the message reads “Trump Won.” Upon further research, it was also discovered that songs from a previous album predicted the loss of America’s beloved primate, Harambe.
According to committee members these predictions make Bieber nothing short of a creative genius with a psychic talent of making political and social predictions.
In an unrelated note, the committee member self-identifies as a Belieber.
In an interview with radio host Ryan Seacrest, Bieber’s manager and recreation motor vehicle salesperson, Scooter Braun, explained that the grant money will be used to produce an album solely based on predictions of upcoming political and social phenomena—an idea that Bieber’s current record label would not entertain.
Braun also mentioned that efforts to conceal messages in songs was a strategy Bieber adapted to ensure best relations with President Barack Obama. This was done in hopes to release a mixtape with Obama once he completes his presidential term. Bieber felt that alluding to a Trump victory may ruffle feathers amongst the Democrats.
When asked to reveal his thoughts on president-elect Donald Trump, Bieber said his “Mama don’t like him and she likes everyone.”
Photo by Mariah Bridgeman.
Is this a joke?
Yes—this article is part of our satirical issue “The Contrarion.” All in good fun!