A monthly horoscope to end the year
Aries (Mar. 21 to Apr. 19)
As 2016 wraps up you’ll feel things are coming to an end, but don’t worry, other things will begin. Towards the end of December, you will find that you have enjoyed some times with friends or family, but may have also felt some stress due to late nights. Whether you are in a relationship or single, you’ll find that you are only as content as you make your mind up to be, so it’s probably best to make your mind up to not be a miserable bore over the holidays.
Taurus (Apr. 20 to May 20)
You can be bull-headed and short-tempered when confronted with change, so the transition period as we approach the end of the year has you more than a little irritable. Just remember that you still have to deal with a lot of the same people next year, so maybe it’s best to keep some blatant insults poorly disguised as “hilarious” quips and other such BS to yourself—you’re not as funny as you think you are (even if you are funnier than most people).
Gemini (May 21 to Jun. 20)
Some might feel that you are being two-faced this winter season, Gemini. One second you like eggnog, the next you like gingerbread lattes. You can like lots of things, you’re a complex spirit, and you are too good for those who don’t appreciate that complexity. But also, try not to be so flaky all the time. Complexity can be misinterpreted for indecisiveness and that’s really annoying. Pick one favourite drink for the month and everything else should fall into place nicely—at least with your food orders; obviously not with your life because that’s clearly a mess if you’re getting life advice from these horoscopes.
Cancer (Jun. 21 to Jul. 22)
You generally enjoy the holiday season, but this year, it may feel like the excitement is winding down already. Don’t worry, as the end of the month approaches things will start to feel a little more festive—or stay the same. Either way, it’ll all be over soon, so stop being so crummy and start being your crabby self again. Try to keep in mind that the holidays are about spreading cheer and not just going skiing or sulking because you can’t go skiing.
Leo (Jul. 23 to Aug. 22)
Leo, you’ve been focusing a lot of your energy on work or school lately and neglecting your friends and family. They may be unpleasant people, but you’re also a pretty overconfident, pompous personality and should probably spend time with the people willing to put up with you. Remember that you’re not actually the king of the jungle and you’ll go into the new year not being a terrible human being.
Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
You might think that being a Virgo makes you pure as virgin snow this December. The fact that you think that just makes it seem like you think you’re better than everyone else. You’re not. You’re better than some people and much much worse than some people, because that’s just life. A lot of the time, when you get all “I’m so pure,” you’re usually feeling guilty about something shitty you’ve done. Just get over yourself and apologize. Or, if it’s not something you’ll still care about four years from now, then just let it go, because we probably won’t care then either.
Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 21)
Life may feel like a balancing act this month, Libra. It’s not always easy to balance your personal and professional life. Make sure to take some time for yourself to balance your emotions this holiday season. Take a day where you focus on yourself, watch bad holiday movies, eat a lot of baked goods, and really just give people a chance to not have to listen to you complain about how much stuff you do all the time—everyone is doing a lot of stuff, Libra.
Scorpio (Oct. 22 to Nov. 21)
Just because you’re in the mood to sting people doesn’t mean that you should, Scorpio. As the year wraps up you might just find that you’re the one that ends up stung. Your innate magnetism may attract a lot of unsavoury characters into your life this month. As the year ends, you better watch out for people who aren’t as kind as they seem. Put down the nog and keep your head in the reindeer games. May the odds be ever in your favour.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
You sometimes tend to struggle with things others find easy, which can be frustrating. But you should also keep in mind that you often excel at things others find challenging. Work on your self-confidence early in the month or you’re going to end up with a lot of self-help books during your outwardly politically correct, seasonally neutral, gift-swapping activities with friends and colleagues that you all secretly know is just secret Santa.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
You’re often materialistic and crave the finer things in life. This season, remember that not everyone is like you. Sometimes the best gift you can give is spending time with others—unless you’re an obnoxious person; then give the gift of gift cards.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
This December, trying to be mysterious is really just going to make you seem unapproachable. You don’t need to share your life story at your office holiday party, but you also don’t need to riddle all your conversations with vagueness and evasion. Aim for somewhere in between. When it becomes difficult, pretend you’re a secret agent and that your mission relies on you seeming like a normal party-goer.
Pisces (Feb. 19 to Mar. 20)
You are the dreamer of the zodiac and may feel very sensitive and emotional around the holidays. Take some time for yourself so that you are better able to handle any emotional pressures that may come your way. Those around you prefer that to you overexerting yourself in order to control everything to try avoiding upset. Sometimes the best gift is not being an emotional nightmare.
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