You are your sexiest when you are confident
If you have ever thought your partner cares about your cellulite, stretch marks, or body rolls, they really don’t—and if they do, you can do better.
I spent most of my teenage years both longing and dreading the day when I would share one of the most intimate, most natural human experiences. The day when I would experience that exquisite pleasure, you apparently can’t get by yourself—at least that’s what society likes you to believe.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t like the idea of sex. I’ve read tons of Avon novels, watched porn, masturbated on a weekly basis, so I was, by society’s standards, “horny.” But, like many other people in this world, I had my own insecurities. Standing 5’5, a size 12, and weighing over 150 pounds, I did not look like the models you see on Instagram. Despite working out three to four times a week and making sure I ate two servings of fruits and vegetables a day, I could never get that thigh gap, flat stomach, thin arms, and cellulite-free body.
It took meeting my first partner at 19 (who was thinner than me) for all of this self-doubt to be tested.
I remember the first time we made love, my mind was flooded with thoughts like, “How do I look from this angle? Can he see my double chin now that I’m on top? Why did I eat such a heavy dinner? Come on, suck it in! Is my orgasm face that ugly?”
When we were done, I couldn’t stop asking him, “Are you sure you don’t think my boobs are too saggy? Too small? Are my thighs too big? Does it bother you that I don’t shave down there?” He responded to all my questions with a “No,” while staring at me with a look of admiration in his eyes.
That moment was pivotal for me because it made me realize: so what if I don’t have the perfect body?
I had an attentive partner who was into me. A partner who also didn’t look like a model straight out of a casting call, but whose personality was so gorgeous and kind that everything about him was sexy to me—from his hairy chest to his petite hands. I would be crazy if I let some minor insecurities get in the way of being intimate with him.
I can vouch that all my sexual partners following my first, who have all been thinner than me, have seen me completely naked, bedroom lights on, wearing granny underpants to bed, bloated belly and wearing minimal or no make-up. Not a single complaint. Just an immeasurable amount of love.
Once you let go of your insecurities, sex will intensify because you’re more focused on making yourself and your partner feel good than on how you look.
Ask yourself this. If your partner thinks you are sexy as hell, why can’t you?
Photo courtesy.