The holiday romance is a quintessential romantic fantasy. If most of your travelling up until university has been with your family, it’s a dream that could not be fully realized until recently.
Once you begin travelling independently, you start to realize how many amazing people there are in the world who you may never see again. Depending on what you’re looking for, this can either be a tragedy or a blessing.Dating while abroad is more than hooking up — it’s a way to learn more about the culture you are living in. While it can be difficult to conjure up conversation on a first date at home, when you are with someone from another country, a million mundane topics suddenly become exciting. It can be interesting to hear about anything from how their school system works to their favourite TV commercial.
Of course, it isn’t all romance and adventure. Even if you’re lucky enough to speak the same language as your date, there are certain cues that can become lost in translation.
A friend I had while studying abroad in the UK went on a couple of dates with a local. They got along well, but she would by no means label them as a couple. It was a bit of a shock, therefore, when he told her one day that he was going to be busy for the foreseeable future, and it would be okay with him if she saw other people — as if this wasn’t what they were doing all along.
I had similar issues of confusion. I would sometimes be chatting with a local guy through dating apps who would be highly invested in a conversation, disappear for a week, and return seemingly as engaged as before.It made me constantly wonder, “Do they like me as a friend, something more, or do they hate me entirely?”My own conclusions would change from day to day.
This leads to another peril of international dating, which is attributing the acts of an individual to their entire culture. While we all know that it is wrong to stereotype, dating in a new culture can make you constantly ask, “Is that a them-thing, or a cultural-thing?” Unless you have time on your hands to date a sizable portion of the population, and eventually pick up on patterns, you may never be sure.Finally, while accents and adventure can be powerful aphrodisiacs, remember that you are dating a person and not just earning a stamp in your passport.No one likes to be fetishized for their nationality. While it may be a holiday romance for you that will end when your flight takes off, remember that this person will still exist when you land back on home soil. One thing that doesn’t change between being home and being away is respecting your date.
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