Keeping kids from being kids because of how others might interpret their looks is wrong
The sexualization of young girls happens too often in the media. Magazines like W Magazine named Millie Bobby Brown as one of TV’s sexiest stars, even though she’s only 13. Former NBC executive Mike Sington tweeted how Brown “grew up” right before our eyes, even though she is still growing up. Childhood does not automatically end just because a child grows breasts and hips. This sexualization of children also happens in schools where dress codes are in place, mostly for girls, to prevent them from distracting their male classmates and teachers. A five-year-old being sent home just for wearing a sundress should set off alarms.
It is also apparent in our culture when parents automatically become more protective of their children when their bodies change. They begin to interpret anything their child does as sexual, even if that thing is as simple as wearing a bathing suit or experimenting with makeup.
I was a few weeks shy of my tenth birthday when I had my first period. Soon my body began to change. A part of me was delighted that I was growing breasts and hips. I had waited so long to have the curves my mother and other women had. At the same time though, my body was experiencing painful cramps, stretch marks, and hip pain. Not to mention massive changes were beginning to occur.
My mother became much more overprotective. I couldn’t wear pigtails and hair clips that had cartoons on them anymore because she felt they were too childlike, especially when I had to wear a uniform to school. Perhaps this combination of cute hair clips on a busty 12-year-old girl seemed too vulgar. I also couldn’t wear a bikini like the other girls my age or the women on TV. When I asked my mother why, she replied: “Because people, older boys, might get the wrong idea.” Whenever my father or his friends were around, I would have to watch what I was wearing and not slouch in order to not expose my cleavage. At school dances I would be reminded to watch how I was dancing.
I understand this was all out of pure love from my mother, but I was 10. I was a child being a child. I loved wearing pigtails because they were pretty. I wanted to wear a bikini because I saw it in a magazine and thought it was pretty too. I danced because I liked dancing. I didn’t see anything sexual in those things, so I couldn’t understand what my mum was saying. At this point, the way men looked at me changed.I remember at 12 years old catching older men in their 20s and 30s staring at my chest that had grown to the size of a D cup. This caused a great deal of confusion in me since I would be bullied at school by boys my age for being “fat” and a “giant freak,” yet I received quite the opposite reaction from older men. This was at a time when I was also exploring who I was sexually attracted to and what was turning me on.
This sexualization, partnered with my naturally budding adolescent curiosity, affected my whole sexual image immensely. I was objectified as something that turned older men on while also being told to cover my body in order to not “give the wrong idea.” This made me feel confused, scared, and ashamed of my own body, which is not right. Young girls should be allowed to explore their bodies, their choice of clothing, and to feel attractive without having to feel shame and guilt over others’ desires that they have no control over.
Image edited by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion