There are many misconceptions about orgasms that are important to clear up.
While it is common knowledge that cisgender men sometimes cum before they want to (a.k.a. premature ejaculation), it may be a surprise that cisgender women can also have premature orgasm. A study done in Portugal found that approximately 40 per cent of cis women had premature orgasm occasionally.
Both cis women and men can orgasm in their sleep. Males’ nocturnal orgasms are more common and obvious due to the residue they leave, but cis women can also orgasm in their sleep. If a cis woman is going to experience orgasms during sleep, she will likely experience her first before the age of 21. Alfred Kinsey, a pioneer in sex research, had a narrow definition of nocturnal orgasm for cis women, but still found that 40 per cent of women had had an orgasm in their sleep. Achieving orgasm is not the goal of sex. The goal of sex should be pleasure.Pleasure and satisfaction look different for everybody, and pleasure can be achieved without orgasm. Women get pleasure from sex even if they do not have an orgasm. Elizabeth Armstrong and colleagues found that 86 per cent of cis women enjoyed sex during a hookup, and 97 per cent of cis women enjoyed sex in their relationship.
Despite this, cis men often believe that cis women need regular orgasms to be satisfied and feel the need to make sure women cum. The knowledge of this sometimes leads cis women to fake orgasms.
The importance that is put on having an orgasm during sex does not just lead cis women to fake orgasms, but cis men to fake them as well.
A study done at the University of Kansas found that 25 per cent of cis men and 50 per cent of cis women had faked an orgasm.
So next time you’re engaging in sexual activity, don’t worry so much about having an orgasm or getting your partner off. Instead, focus on what feels good for the both of you.
Photo by Tasha Falconer