The cats are revolting.
Since the announcement of what has been termed, by those in the know, as the “meow tax,” I have noticed a rather disturbing trend manifesting itself in my own, and even in my acquaintances’, cats. It is with a soft step and fearful eyes that my feline friend Bugs timidly hops down the smooth concrete steps leading to a garden once filled with endless diversions of the sort guaranteed to keep any self-respecting cat busy for hours. But today, alas, Bugs simply sits. No frolicking or playing. Ears back, and shoulders hunched. Watching. Waiting.
To fully understand the cause of his misery, we must go back to a slightly nippy morning in November of last year, when the Guelph Mercury ran a story titled “Cat licences to become mandatory in Guelph in 2018.” Further detail is given regarding just how much money these licenses will cost (because, of course, there is a cost).
The licensing of one cat will cost $25, with each subsequent cat costing $18.75 per year. The reasons given by the City of Guelph and DocuPet (the company managing the licensing program) are varied, but basically boil down to the alleged inability of the Guelph Humane Society to handle the large expense associated with processing lost cats. And this from a company (i.e. DocuPet) that, according to Global News, had its door-to-door assessments suspended in Kingston, Ont. after claims of “inappropriate conduct” appeared online. Reconciling myself with the fact that out of each fee, $5 will go to DocuPet as an “administration fee,” and looking past the possibility that this is merely a “cash grab,” as some have suggested, I still can’t understand why the meow tax should also apply to indoor cats. Surely, if a cat never ventures outside, or even roams about freely in a securely-fenced garden, then it’s ridiculous to force the owners of these cats to pay for a problem that they’re not even causing. It would be just as logical to charge everyone a $5 “litter tax” every time they go for a walk in their local park, instead of actively trying to penalize those who actually litter. But logic, and indeed fairness, are entirely absent from this decision. As time goes on and this becomes the new normal, people will get used to it. People move on. Cats don’t.
After reading Bugs the rough draft of this article, he seemed more alert, even more confident. His whiskers bristled, and his eyes flashed with rage.
Photo courtesy of Guelph Mercury via CC0)
He is no longer depressed by this new wave of anti-cat sentiment sweeping the land, but energized and determined. The other cats are acting oddly as well. I don’t know what they may be planning, but my conscience wouldn’t be clear if I didn’t warn you: Beware! You can only push cats so far.