A perfect day at work involves as little interaction with students as possible
After complaints from students of loud subterranean drilling happening all over campus, a small group of professors have come forward to claim responsibility for the noise. “We’re building alternate pathways underneath campus to ease the stress of travel,” said a representative of the Introverted Professors Association of Guelph (IPAG), who preferred to remain anonymous. “When you see your students outside of class, it’s weird for you, it’s weird for them, it’s weird for everyone. So we’re hoping that through the construction of these pathways, the instances of inadvertently seeing students will be severely diminished.” “I think it’s a great idea,” said one student, who also preferred to remain anonymous. “There’s nothing worse than walking through campus and suddenly seeing a professor, and then being forced to confront the uncomfortable reality that they’re people too.”Concerns about the activities of some professors were raised shortly after the announcement of the tunnels, when some students, who preferred to remain anonymous, noticed that their professors were coming to class with mining helmets and pickaxes and were tracking mud into the lecture halls. Other students have demanded that they too should be given access to the tunnels, claiming that they want to avoid students as well. Some have formed a counter group, Guelph Introverted Students Association (GISA). GISA has pledged to build a secondary set of tunnels for members’ use only, raising concerns about the structural integrity of the campus.
President Franco Vaccarino has called a halt to all mining operations until stability and proper excavating practices can be ensured.
Photo edited by Alora Griffiths/The Ontarion