The injustice of victim-blaming rape culture must end
Amid sexual assault allegations and cringe-worthy testimony, and despite the prevalence of the #MeToo movement, Brett Kavanaugh became a Supreme Court justice. These events demonstrate that we live in a society where women can be sexually assaulted and the men who assault them are given freedom, power, authority and free reign over not just the situation but over other people as well. This injustice confirms how important it is to better understand the connection between white, heterosexual, male privilege and sexual assault.
Over the last couple of weeks, there has been a list circulating the Internet that brings to light the difference between how men and women live in relation to the fear of sexual assault. A survey conducted by social researcher Jackson Katz asked both men and women what they did on a daily basis to avoid being sexually assaulted. The differences between the two lists are really shocking. Personally, I find it scary to live in a world where us women have to take it upon ourselves, each and every day, to prevent men from sexually assaulting us.
Instead of placing all the responsibility for preventing sexual assault on girls and women, why aren’t boys and men taught — as they are growing up, in schools, and by their families and communities — how to be decent people who do not assault others? Recognizing that assault is bad is just the minimum and not assaulting someone is also a minimum expectation. With every assault case there are hundreds of events that may not lead to violent crimes, but still scare the shit out of women on an everyday basis. There is a constant fear that if a woman lets her guard down for even one of those situations, it could turn out that she is wrong and it will lead to assault. It’s ridiculous that it is a woman’s fault for letting her guard down rather than the fault of the man who assaulted her. (Or, you know, the fault of the beer he likes, because it couldn’t possibly be his own fault).
This problem isn’t just a “women’s issue,” it must be tackled by everyone. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s a sad world where one half of the population has to live in constant fear of being sexually assaulted? Shouldn’t most people agree with that? And yet, it doesn’t seem that’s actually the case. It seems that women’s safety is never guaranteed and is never a priority.
Boys should be taught how to not make a woman feel uncomfortable — for example, not staring at a woman’s body, trying to avoid walking behind women who are walking alone at night, and not catcalling a woman from a vehicle or on the street. Men should recognize that they should respect a woman’s space — if a man is working in a woman’s house for a service call or online sale, respect that woman’s space. These are small changes that can be built on over time and can go a long way to help women feel safer in their own spaces and in public spaces.
This list opens your eyes to what male privilege is in today’s world. The ever growing women’s side of the list supports the victim-blaming narrative of rape culture: “If you only had done [insert literally anything here], maybe you wouldn’t have been raped.” This mentality HAS to STOP. Women SHOULD NOT have to go through life putting themselves — physically, emotionally, and mentally — in fortresses while men roam the world free, without any concern of what their freedom costs others. Imagine what the world would be like if women could say what the men have said in this list. Will we ever get there?