The difference between a fear and a phobia
For as long as I can remember, I have been living with a phobia. Nobody in my family can explain how it came about or why, all anyone knows is that I have been phobic of animals forever. My most prevalent phobia is that of dogs and cats, but I have been categorizing it as animals that can come out of cages since I was little. This includes both furry friends and more cold-blooded ones; to my brain, every animal is the same and triggers the natural fight or flight instinct no matter the circumstance.
Most people I explain my phobia to don’t understand it, since people generally assume a phobia is the same as a fear. This is by far the biggest misconception I have come across when explaining my phobia, as the term ‘fear’ does not fully define or describe a phobia. Phobias are classified by your subconscious reactions. For me, this is an increased heart rate, shaky limbs, and the need to be far away from the animal; due to these reactions, my entire life is dictated by my phobia.
A fear, to the general public, is something you are scared of or afraid of. You can logically justify the fear in your mind, and those around you can understand it. This differs from phobias as they are completely illogical, and those who have phobias know they are illogical too. For me, this is the fact that I love dogs, yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but I genuinely love dogs. I think they are adorable, and silly, and the cutest. I follow many dogs on Instagram and from far distances admire them — even the pups in training we see on campus! But the minute I am near a dog, especially if it is off a leash, that is when the illogical part of my brain starts firing and my subconscious takes over with fight or flight instincts. Yes, logically I know most dogs won’t hurt me, but it’s hard to tell that to your subconscious mind, which doesn’t really like to interact with your conscious mind and thoughts.
Because of this my entire life and everything I do is controlled by my phobia. I have to know in advance if the party host has a pet, I can’t walk through parks because there will more likely than not be someone walking a dog, and if a dog is walking down the sidewalk towards me, I have to find a way to cross the street so I can avoid being near the dog. These have been constants in my life that I don’t even notice anymore, and those around me don’t notice it either because I’ve gotten so good at hiding it.
Through the years I have tried more treatments than can be counted, to try and overcome my phobia. I have done hypnosis, therapy, CBD, exposure therapy, and the latest medications. Though some have worked better than others, I am still here, 21 years later, fighting the same fight with my inner mind that refuses to listen.
Photo obtained via Wikimedia Commons