Q:
Is “talk nerdy to me” supposed to mean “talk dirty to me”? Also what does talk dirty mean?
A:
Yes, “Talk Nerdy to Me” is a play on the phrase “talk dirty to me.” Talking dirty is a form of sexual communication that occurs during sexual activity. It is sometimes called pillow talk or erotic talk. The 2014 Great Australian Sex Census found that 42 per cent of people like dirty talk, 13 per cent like sweet talk, and seven per cent like stern directions. Twenty-two per cent of those surveyed did not answer the question, and 16 percent said they do not like talking during sex.
Researchers in Australia found that there are two broad categories of dirty talk.
The first is mutualistic talk, which is talk related to communicating pleasure and shared experience. This includes instructive statements, such as “go faster/harder”; positive feedback, such as “I love it when you…”; reflexive calls, such as “yes”; and emotional bonding comments, such as “I love you.”
The second category is individualistic talk, which is self-focused comments. This includes sexual dominance comments, such as “take it”; sexual submission comments, such as “fuck me good”; sexual ownership comments, such as “you’re mine”; and discussions of fantasies, such as “I’m imagining…”
The researchers found that people enjoy and use mutualistic talk more than individualistic talk, but this may be influenced by the sample, which was mostly people in long-term relationships. That being said, these two types of dirty talk are correlated; people that dirty talk, often do both in their sexual lives (though not necessarily in the same sexual interaction).
Both of these types of dirty talk are associated with sexual satisfaction, but mutualistic talk has more of an impact on sexual satisfaction than individualistic talk. In general, sexual communication during sex can improve your sexual life.
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A version of this article appeared in print in The Ontarion issue 188.3 on March 12, 2020
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